I found a rose (ICONX)

I found a rose among thorns, but did not touch;
As I imagined the softness of its flesh
the hormonal buzz
of a honey bee
excited me
to thrust my hand into the spiked clutch;
I checked the desire
but, did drink in the view and it's aroma instead;
enjoying it's painful beauty with the fingers in my head..

Gorgeous, no?
The fingers are in my head, too.

When God Smiles (ICONX)

When God smiles the edges of a plasma cloud contract. The pulse of a fetal sun will have begun as the heavy elements and star dust interact; embracing and pulling tight, condensing down fusions spark, illuminates into the corners of the icy dark, spreading his passion, his joy, his warmth, his light. iconx

Did I say I like this techno poetry? I do.

I found a rose (ICONX)

I found a rose among thorns, but did not touch;
As I imagined the softness of its flesh
the hormonal buzz
of a honey bee

(cont reading on Caferati)

The sentence "excited me to" sounds not quite right grammatically. Another word, perhaps, 'invited', 'incited', 'roused'?
"Fingers in my head" was arresting; the last but one line "did drink in the view and aroma instead" doesn't add anything.

Cheers
Aparna

Crush by Annie Zaidi (A review)

Crush (A Review)


Book title: Crush. 50 poems by annie zaidi, illustrated by gynelle alves. JAICO Books. Price: Rs. 150



Every now and again you meet a book which you fall in love with at first sight. It happened to me just yesterday with a diminutive little volume of poems called Crush. Books should not be judged by their covers but when the volume claims to be an illustrated one then perhaps you can be forgiven the transgression. The 4 inch by 4 inch slim, square volume with its awry red heart motif against a bold marigold coloured background, does seem to beckon you to own it and love it.

continue...

First question: Where I can find this book? Is it out in bookshops or is that a reviewer's copy you have?

Your reading experience sounds uniformly good. But that rarely ever happens to me. Was there any place where you felt could have been even better? What other work would you say it is similar or closest to, (so I can bracket it mentally)?

Aparna

(This is by far the stupidest thing I've ever written on this forum)

What my eyes have seen ( Poem ) (ICONX)

what my eyes have seen is caught on tape
cut and paste
a million different way
at nuerons' end; perhaps to be reviewed.

(cont reading on Caferati)

Seeing photons in the dark - a vivid image, though I can't imagine what an individual photon would look like, half wave, half particle?

I heart the use of scientific words here. Always thought there was some poetry in them. Phasar, Quark, Photon.

More please
Aparna

Found - First Grey Hair (poem - feedback requested (Sandhya Menon-Koottunkal)

Read it on Caferati

I kept thinking of the slang moonshine stands for - homemade liquor. I guess you meant moonbeam/moonlight. It gave me quite a different meaning :-)
"Ruffled layer of the night" -excellent. Goes with the moon analogy.
"Better. And the looks to go with it" somehow sounds awkward.

onward
Aparna

Good Intentions (poem read out at Bombay Read Meet, Feb 2007) (Billi)

Read it on Caferati

There's this self-pity in the "lonely slice of pizza", the "pain is filling up the cracks". But she makes her excuses "I have been playing host", "I'm doing fine", "elevator is full" and shuts the door on the visitor, rejects his unwanted sympathy.

The last but one paragraph doesn't belong here. It's a monologue in her head, of the paranoia of being deliberately avoided by others, that she would not be addressing out loud to the visitor whose sympathy she does not want. The rest of it is of one piece, telling the visitor he's not needed.

Nicely done. Was not at the Read-Meet, can you post that version here as well?