Thursday, December 20, 2007

there;s nothing, nothing quite as... (Arka Mukhopadhyay)

/there's nothing, nothing quite as...
saddening as that first morning when
winter whispers into the city, and
all day, all day a wind is blowing through your mind
and through the streets of that other, secret
city whose jagged edges are remembering; for you
are an image of its trees, and like the trees
the wind picks you up in its dance and you
sway through the strange nights when something
speaks from beyond the voices of our fathers, something
sleeping in the heavy, turbid depths of the river, and
whirls us about, through the centuries,
shattering us against the silence of the stars.

/Arka's poem starts out quite strongly - somewhere around 'you are an
image of its trees' it turned to stock phrases and the wind lost its
way, and died down. 'City's jagged edges' sounds fine, but 'jagged
edges remembering' is a confusing image.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Remembering You (Ityaadi)

Every night as it passes by
Dreams of you fade away
And I grope in the dark
To keep my fears allay

I get up in the morning
With a clutching pain in the chest
Has the time come so soon?
To lay your memories to rest

When the sun rises in the sky
The birds begin to chirp and fly
I do remember of you my son
You who never let my spirits die

/The grief is crushing. I think it was 'my fears at bay' or 'my fears
allayed'.
'You who never let my spirits die' was a beautiful one-line eulogy.
/

Friday, November 9, 2007

Poem read at the Peace mela (Billi)

doodhwala, paperwala,
gaadi saaf karne wala,
istreewala, kachrawalaa,
raddiwala, baniya, and a neighbour
who wanted to borrow a hammer,
have all insistently pressed the doorbell.

tv is on at full volume
for a partially deaf mother in law
prone to switching wildly
between breaking news and tv yogis
preaching hellfire and damnation.
the never ending banging beating,
remodelling next door has started too.

a wannabe mahinder singh
has shattered another windowpane,
you cannot escape the honking of cars,
and buses and trucks and taxis,
the hawkers who want to be heard
over 'do saada dosa ek chai ek filter coffee'
shouts from the neighbourhood udipi restaurant,
you can even hear the trains
come and go two streets away,

/the rest on Caferati...
/ <http://www.ryze.com/posttopic.php?topicid=894993&confid=1199>
--------
/It sounds like a chant, the urban mantra we live to...

/

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Passage (Arka Mukhopadhyay)

You settle in your window-seat,
Dior-coated, burgundy-streaked.

And if I am not wrong, the tag
Says 'Hidesign' on your bag.

The other details also say
'Here is a woman of today.'

Perhaps a fraction too loudly,
With determined effort, proudly.

And yet as the aeroplane slips
Down the tarmac, a finger grips

The locket with its pendant saint,
Your knuckles whitely intent.

--- (the rest on Caferati) ---


Would a woman wear Hidesign with Dior? Why not. Not everyone is dressed in head-to-toe designer. But perhaps that's too real - when you are making a point about what kind of woman she is.
Aside from that (and whether she would wear a pendant saint, which is again an odd choice, of jewellery), the poem's intent is pretty clear, and strongly worded.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Commitment phobic (Sandhya Menon-Koottunkal)

We'll keep deluding ourselves
With birthday and anniversary dinners
Collecting crystal, making love,
Buying pleasure in music and vacations.

And we'll laugh at each others' jokes
Sometimes only because we don't want
Minute-broken hearts or complaints of how
Someone else always "laughs at my jokes".

We'll have children, maybe,
If you're not too old and I, not too fat
And we'll give up smoking and frivilous shopping
So that they can have that
Pony
Holiday
Trip to the moon.

.. (the rest on Caferati on Ryze )
<http://www.ryze.com/posttopic.php?topicid=899527&confid=1199>

Multiple opinions that the title doesn't do justice to what follows, but
I rather prefer it this way. The future of an uneasy union in all its
moments, forcing itself upon a present still undecided. I say undecided
only because the picture of domesticity is still so clear, it obviously
pleases some corner of the mind that dwells on its images, and prefers
not to paint any vision of the alternative at all. It might, after all,
be these images that set out to become real, for they have a plan, they
can see a future, whereas the alternative has no clothes to present
itself in; the alternative is still nothing in itself but a No to the
other.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Back from OZ

No posts for over a month, I was touristing in Australia.

Back and finding a deluge of posts to read...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Pencil (Transcreation, Vijay Nair)

Confined inside its box,
to an impish sharpener,
the pencil extolled its virtue.
“I am like Saddam. The one,
who faced the noose with a roar.”
Soon arrived Maalu,
the owner of the box.
Into the mouth of the sharpener,
she thrust the pencil, and

Click…!!

Allah-o-Akbar!!
A poem in Malayalam by Abhirami
Translation by Vijay © 23rd July, 2007 on Caferati

Made me smile.

Writerly sites (Rajiv Mudgal)

Good Word processors...

ZOHO WRITER:
AjaxWrite:
ThinkFree:
Liquid Story Binder XE:
PageFour:
Book Writer:
Rough Draft:
Celtx: (the second best after Rough draft)
ClicheFinder:
Dictionary.com:
Rhyming Dictionary:
Roget's Thesaurus:
The Slot:  (Dedicated to the correct usage of words, phrases and grammar in the English language.)


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

AND HOW (darknite)

AND HOW

And how will you
feel then, when the joy
sets back in
and you're no longer left
to wonder what to do
with what was?
O how you will feel then!

- darknite on Caferati.

I wish I could say how much the size of this poem appeals to me. A single clear thought in just as many words as needed.

In many poems, the words run on long after the thought is over. In my cartoon-obsessed brain, its like Tom chasing Jerry over a cliff and past the edge, continuing to run impossibly on, until mid-air, he looks down and realizes he's run out of ground.


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

What defines poetry (Caferati exercise)

We hear these often:
"What makes a piece of writing a poem?"
"Those are just prose sentences with weird line breaks."
"I don't know anything about poetry."
"That's really poetic!"
"It's all about self-expression. I write from within my heart."
"I never edit my original poem. That would destroy the sacred words that marked a divine moment."
And so on.

So let's hear it from you. What is poetry to you?

-------------
I have the same take on poetry as art. No one seems to be able to define what art is, nor what poetry is. So we must accept that everything is art - from your kid's crayon masterpiece to Van Gogh. Maybe it's the process that is art, not the end-point. Maybe that's the same with poetry.

But greatness, that is a different matter. I think most people are aware of the distinction between art and great art.
I'm obsessed with greatness. Great art or poetry is very dense in content, that much is for sure. What bothers me about some Caferati poetry is the unbearable lightness. Yet, it is so very very hard to create anything great, one cannot fault them for it.











RUINED (by ssT)

Don’t tell me
what you would have done
or what you’re going to do
It’s what you’re doing now
that holds my interest
I may not know everything about you
but I’ve learned the habits
that keep you occupied
I cross you out like a wrong word
I bang you just to make some noise
Let’s see you dance
to that beat sucker

Love goes on
never pretending to be anything else
Lord deliver us
from people with good intentions
doing things to us for our own good
When is the last time
you saw a strange person
glaring at you from a passing window
& then discovered
it was your own reflection?

Forget all that reflecting
Let’s open ourselves up on the highway
& see what kind of ground we cover
Nothing’s louder than silence
rushing in our ears
or hearing the ocean roar in a sea shell
Birds sing with their lives not their beaks
The less I say
the less trouble I get into
& still I keep talking

Acting in bad faith
is always self defeating
Is the world inhabited by poets
or infested with poetry?
If your love isn’t fast
it will run in the rain
& get ruined
Your love is a thunderstorm
that has ruined me
for any other

ssT (on Caferati)
-----------------------
I suppose "learned the habits that keep you occupied" was where I began to take interest. The interest peaked at "Let's open ourselves up on the highway and see what kind of ground we cover"
But the last para lost some ground. "Your love is a thunderstorm that has ruined me for any other", sounds  to me like a bad pickup line. And yet, someone could say that and really mean it. So, now what?


Sunday, August 12, 2007

Caferati on Ryze is now members-only

Until further notice, you can no longer access the posts that I link to, unless you are a member of Ryze.
I am unsure if I can quote entire posts here without violating some Caferati or Ryze rule. So sorry about not being able to read these posts, but Ryze is free to join, and Caferati welcomes new members, so you don't have to miss reading them. You will also find some selected posts at Caferati's blog, which is accessible by all.

Monday, August 6, 2007

The Swansong (Villanelle) /Vyom Prashant

The Swansong...

Mother I hope you do not cry
Remember you said life is a war?
In every battle a few men die

I'd never turned to say goodbye
And in memory of the farewell hour
Mother I hope you do not cry.

continue reading..

What is a Villanelle?

This was a strongly worded one, probably will make you turn misty, as a foregone thing, and you don't even need to be a mother. The only line I felt out of place was "Remember you said life was a war?", It seems the sort of thing a father would say, not a mother. I'm going here by my own mother as reference, of course, and she is the sort of woman who would neither make declarative statements beginning with "Life is" (one-line summaries of life seem frivolous compared to her outlook), nor be in a position to compare anything to war, which she has not experienced. Vyom's reference may be different.


Saturday, August 4, 2007

Aesthetics of Loneliness / Ashish Gorde

"...It is a very inspiring article on 'The Spectacles of American Isolation' written by Mark Feeney and was reprinted in the Gulf News' Weekend Review. It's not included in the Review's web edition, and I guess, it could be partly because it's a syndicated article from the New York Times News Service. The main focus of the article is an examination of Edward Hopper's paintings, and how he could be considered to be the Great American Artist. Fenney writes, 'the sources of his popular appeal are obvious enough: immediate accessibility; a subtle yet vivid colour sense; familiar, but not too familiar, subject matter; a fondness for picturesque settings such as New York, Maine and Cape Cod; even a whiff of prurience.' However, he goes on to describe what he feels to be a "Hopperesque" quality, and calls it loneliness. "

I missed reading this because of the recent flood of new posts on the board. But reading Ashish Gorde's essay, in relation to the original article by Mark Feeney at Boston Globe which triggered it, was interesting, because I've always thought the opposite about Hopper's creations, that it was about the healing power of solitude, rather than the pain of loneliness. I call it the elevator consciousness ( a post on this later) - it brings to me that moment when you surface for air from being submerged in a group of people, forced to breathe in their exhaled opinions, purposes and personalities. I'm an extrovert, no sociopath, but I feel no pathos in Hopper, only respite and relief. I feel the transience of the situation.The person reading in the train, or the lonely diner in the highway restaurant is alone, but only in passing. Tomorrow he will reach home and be inescapably among people again.

It could be entirely my take, maybe Hopper did intend for them to portray loneliness imposed, rather than solitude chanced upon, that I tend to read into it. Maybe I find solitude rarer than company, living in a crowded urban scene, and long for the spaces, so American as the article says, where one can breathe free. But I find his other attractive aspect, his matter-of-factness, revealing and supportive of my reading. He does not portray a permanent loneliness, he does not portray tragedy. The people are all placid in their aspect, inward looking, but not mourning. The loneliness seems more located in the space they are in, and the oddness of their position in it, rather than in the person himself, and the person seems acutely aware of his position, but chooses to accept it, because it is not permanent. In this acceptance, a loosening of norms of sociability, in this tendency to revel in the aloneness, rather than seek a superficial conversation with a stranger, a waiter in the restaurant or a fellow passenger, Hopper highlights a moment of self-sufficiency that I have admired all along.


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Nursery of Words - Translation (Reshmi Warrier)

I like the Griffin's version below of Reshmi Warrier's translation Nursery of Words..
I have an idea the original must be really good, if even a casual translation sounds fine.
There are a couple of people including Vijay Nair, who do translations and transliterations from their original Malayalam. Their modest promotion of literature from their native tongues is note-worthy, I wish more people would do this.

Casually

Like you would look at your overgrown nails
Like a long forgotten tune remembered without reason
Like a dream you thought you dreamt before

And because there is nothing to restrain the loss of memory

We dig out buried meanings to see if they have sprouted roots.


Song of Job (Maliha Raza)

Maliha's Song of Job is here...

We stride along the shadowed paths
The dappled fall of sun and star
Down the haunted darkling gorge
Up the sunlit cliff and scar

All the demons rise and walk
All the corpses come alive
We meet again in fire and heat
My mourned, my buried pain and I

David Israel's critique of the same is very good. It is rare that someone can get technical and yet be readable, and more than that, make it interesting.


The Tiger's Den (Poem) - Ozymandias

Amidst the jungle’s myriad cries
Beyond the brightness of the skies,
Marked with bones and drying gore
And a fearful dreadful roar
I am the mighty tiger’s den!

Now when men have come to stay
And sow and reap and cry and play,
The roars still echo in the night
And the weak avoid my sight:
I am the awful tiger’s den!

continue...

Do read this one fully.
Usually explanations are unnecessary for what inspired the poem. But in this case, understanding Ozymandias's Waghbil connection was useful.
Aparna


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Blurring - Poem (Seekstill)

Blurring around the edges
torn against the night shade
midnight is bluing
into the winter ice moon,
I move between the spaces of my fluidity
continued..

That was well done. Death leads,we follow. Where else can we go?
Aparna

The nights are tough (Rahul Pandita)

Eleven years have passed in this city. Next to where you are breaking your promise of serving breakfast only to me, I remember buying a book from my first salary: Safdar Hashmi - The fifth flame. Life had just begun to explore new theatres of existence. I was raw; I did not know how to cut a slice of pizza. I would lose my way almost every day, thinking South Extension was nearer to Saket than IIT Gate. There were no counters of boiled corn those days; people would eat peanuts while waiting for the bus, warming their hands on a small bonfire lit by a friendly watchman. Very few people had cars those days. The roads were emptier. There were no malls, no Cafe Coffee Days. The lawns of the National School of Drama offered solace to lovers. Holding hands in the darkness of a cinemahall would rid the heart of triglycerides. Mosquitoes would still die from Tortoise coils.
continued..

I liked it immensely. Holding on to memories, painful as they may be and reliving them through a pilgrimage of old haunts.

I found two corrections.
'pilgrimages' has an extra 'm'
Coconut oil on (not in) his head

Aparna

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Love letter from Komalavalli - Story in Verse (seekersought)

I used to wear my hair long
and had a permanent beard
then when my lips bore Beatles song
I liked to be seen and heard

My youth drunk in recklessness
nothing felt impossible
I swaggered in casual carelessness
to be unloved seemed improbable

We huddled by parking spaces
talking music, naxalism, poetry
we wore such enigmatic faces
in love with ourselves dearly


continue...

Seekersought, you are a lady of 'many whorls'!
I'd like to use up all the superlatives right now - this was outrageous, fantastic, pure brilliance. This has to be one of the best posts I can remember on this forum (no offense to others, blame my 'benign forgottance'- yes, I'll be using that phrase very often in the next couple weeks :-) )

To borrow your words a bit, (and return them to you a little  dirtied),

I'm
"unwilling to refute
that which roused my blasted mind
was not caffeine, but your Caferati post"

Aparna

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Why? (Madhumita Chakraborty)

why?

when we got to know
each other so,
that there were no more
spaces to explore;
was it exciting at all;
to be 'us' anymore?

continue...

I liked the rhythm, and it's well edited.
Perfect balance between questions and answers.
Aparna

Nothing malafide (what the ?) (C Ravishankar)

Intimacy unmatched,
sowed in me, seeds
of unwarranted affection

But clinging protectiveness
stifled.
Never-changing constancy
bored, cloyed.

continue...




The title did shed (like the snake)
nothing meaningful
On what poesies grew
shining, coiling, under

Startling,
the eye that followed
A dead husk, to find
A living swaying wonder

(commenting in verse, hope its not annoying)
Aparna


Sunday, June 24, 2007

O Father, who are you? - A Theory (Amit Mehra Productions)

Background 1: I have been married for a while now & we have decided not have kids.
Background 2: India, where I belong, has the 2nd largest population in the world

Years after we took that decision of not having any kids, I still ponder if we took the right decision. Largely because I look around myself and everyone keeps producing kids, irrespective of their financial, social or physical state. There's just nothing that can make people stop producing kids. Most people, at least in India, are going to great lengths & pains to have kids. Marriages are broken; relationships are made based on the abilities to produce kids.

continue...

Interesting article, and I like your theory, although I think it may be a complex of needs - power, a sense of hope/renewal, love, to exist in some form beyond death, feeling a purpose to life, etc.

Aparna


------------
(Actually, I thought it was very interesting, and close to the truth in a good many cases. But given our capacity for self-deception, our assumption of noble motives for everything we do, I can see why this theory exercise would jar a lot of people. So the brief comment there.

Already there is a good deal of cynicism about what used to be old ideals - work is about money, life is about getting ahead, patriotism is about right to be treated better than foreigners more than duties, romance is no longer about feeling but a score-card of things given and gotten. The last bastion of selflessness is parenthood, so attack it at the risk of rousing wrath among those who worship it.

I'm not a parent. Neither is the author, according to this article. Presumably, people who are parents are shaking their heads and going "What do these people know?".

Becoming a parent is a biological process. As Elaine says in the Seinfeld show, "It's not like it takes some kind of talent!". Being a human parent, though, is a lifetime job. Unlike dogs and cats, we don't walk away and leave our offspring to survive on their own, after a while. And in that way, we have more vested interests in our offspring than just their survival or our need to reproduce. By the time the kid is an adult, we have spent more than two decades taking care of them and teaching them what we know. Is there anything else in life you would give this much, without expectations in return? I don't know why we expect parents to be selfless.

For delicious irony, I quote my aunt to her own son, "I did so much for you when you were young, without ever thinking of my own comforts, for what? So that now you will ignore us and call once in six months? Why should I be so selfless had I known you are going to be so self-centered?"

It's a rare parent that says "I've done my job, now go live your life, and it doesn't matter to me if your life no longer needs my presence". That would be a selfless parent.)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Writing Exercise - Write what you know, edit, edit, edit, where's the hook?

Today's children are tomorrow's citizens. Our youth inherits a world poised on the brink of greater human glory or nuclear annihilation. We must focus our energies towards developing our youth to face the challenges of tomorrow, to make the right choices, and to decide today what they will be: Lotus or Cherry. Our country has produced some of the best minds, scientists, artists, and HCL engineers who set an example of talent and honesty when they admit "We're the ones connecting you to the stock market..and the market just crashed". To continue on the path of progress, our youth must uphold our hallowed traditions, become proficient in the use of the latest science and technology, and learn that MutualFundsAreSubjectToMarketChangesSoReadTheOfferDocumentCarefully. They must resist divisive forces seeking to break our unity, and ask not for whom the bell tolls, but ask "How many you have, man?"

(145 words - Aparna)

Link to Exercise ...

OK, I was ranting on about ads I love to hate. That's not really what this exercise is about, I know, but couldn't resist..

Verbose Monotony (Thomas Jacob)

A man who never failed to please
Put you at ease, did John Verghese.
A man so true, a man so nice
But alas, logic was his vice.

"Hey John Verghese, 'geese' is plural
but you are just one, not many!"
A singular person in logic's noose
He changed his name, to John Vergoose.

continue...

Yay! Wordplay, my favorite. Both poems are similar, but the first for whatever reason has a special zing.

If John Vergander had married writer Virginia Woolf, would he turn into a Ver-Woolf? (Aoooooooo)

Mukarrar, as the man said before..
Aparna

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

POEM: Tell me i see alright and it's only the rain (facts and calcuated conveniences)

is that dust from under her feet
on your shoulder?
is that the little girl
living
by the lies he told her?

continue...

'Is this music I hear
Or the silence in my head'

Amazing. It has the lyrical effect of a ghazal. A ghazal not just translated to English like many, but living in English.

"did you go easy on yourself;
was it really
so hard?"
Deep stuff.

You could use the "It's the rain that wont stop" refrain a couple more times, to break up the series of 'Is it/that' beginnings.

Last para has a spell fluff, 'too' spelled as 'to'.

Aparna

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Dreamer's Noon (Ozymandias)

He swung himself up into one of the branches of the temple’s banyan-tree, surprised that he was still quite agile. He made his way to where a bough branched off the tree making a cup-shaped hollow; the refuge where he would escape to after he had successfully raided the mango grove. From the folds of his dhoti he extracted a mango, purloined from the high-priests, and bit into it greedily, thrilled as the juice flowed down his chin.

continue...

Are you continuing this?
Refreshingly different topic and I like its regional historical flavor. The names seem straight out of some epic story book (although I admit its probably Amar Chitra Katha versions of them that I've read).

Aparna

Soldier On The Streets Of No Return (Ashwini Ailawadi)

Once you were a soldier and you walked with your head held high,
You knew the secrets that would expose the universal lie,
In one hand was your guitar, and in the other a flower,
You looked so beautiful as you challenged the prophets of power,
They called you a fool and burnt your songs,

continue...

I didn't comment on Caferati. The title led me to think it was about war. But no, it's about no-return streets of drugs.
I read it, enjoyed it. I didn't want to say anything. Some of it is beyond cavil, and there are also some well-worn phrases. But it's hard sometimes to come up with a balanced comment - something that gives due praise and also criticize whatever could be better. One or the other side usually overwhelms and makes it seem like either you didn't like it, or that you liked it entirely.

Between this breath (Ratna Rajaiah)

Between this breath
And the next
Crouches
A possibility
Death

continue...

Really really good.
I like how the first 5 lines form a poem, a brilliant one, by itself.

In fact, maybe it should end there, because it is so good, it is hard to top it.
However, moving past that...
Using your metaphor, the crouch is the suspense, the leap is action, more dramatic. So I'd expect the last few lines to likewise rise to greater dramatic heights, describing death and its devastating effects, rather than continue with the suspense about when it'll happen. That was a bit anticlimactic.

I hope this makes sense. I've been thinking about it ever since the poem was posted.

Aparna

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Symphony for monsoon and plastic roof (Peter Griffin)

As I write this, it is sweltering.

My shirt is drenched, my skin prickles and the tiles outside my window are radiating even more heat. There is an expectant stillness in the air, a quiet, breathless anticipation. Clouds scud across a bright blue sky; they're coming from the right direction, but there are too few of them, and they're fluffy and white, practically all silver lining.

Damn. It's still summer.


continue..

The Griffin has painted monsoon in its vivid joyous colors, while mine remain a defiant shade of bleak. Several of the images are so familiar from repeated usage, they have now ceased to move. I tried to summon up the enthusiasm for paper boats from General Science notebooks, and while my head says "Yes, yes, I remember", the feeling for it did not return. What will still appeal has to be more obscure ..has to be able to sneak around the back of my watchful cynical brain and bean it with a POW! forgotten sensation.

So my bleak monsoon- The sudden darkening and cooling before the rain; the gray mist that blurs horizon and earth and sky and seems permanent, eternal. Coconut trees like one possessed by the wind, flogged into painful shapes, unable to die. People walking bent forward against the wind, holding up umbrellas flying inside out like flags of surrender. The abandoned beach, with its mutinous waves and impassive sand and redundant soft drink stand. Curtains of a hotel room turning into soggy sails, dank doormats and the gray vapor seeming to emerge from indoor lamps as afternoon gray turns into ashy evening and matte black night of power failures and groping to the bathroom in complete darkness.

Only the unexpected iced coolness of the bed and blanket seem to foretell a drugged unbroken night after the sweat-drenched breathless fitful lie-ins of summer.


Jaguar Lights (Rochelle Potkar)

You and me sitting a space apart
Resting our chins watching
Golden moments bashing against stone
Some flotsam and a boat coming home
...
Eyes like those of a hundred Jaguars
Open up
Guiding wheels going home
In the dark
continue

She always writes well, and I like to read. I rarely have anything better to say than "Well done, again." I have a feeling she doesn't need inane comments like that.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Wine Ramble (Anita Vasudeva)

I read to you
- my words may slur
and run around the room –
my tongue may slip.
I began toasting tonight pre-lunch
and into the hot eye-burning evening
hoping that words and grapes will hold me up.

continue...

A lyrical heady ramble this, made for wines and remembrances.
"for is it not laden with wine and words today as you had always imagined,
a tryst in sepia colored movies on canvas screens in which you lived many times, not
knowing whether it was the movie or the wine or the vineyard
or the biblical breaking bread and sharing wine"
Must have shared the same bottle - same questions :-) but yours read much better.

Only the last stanza seemed to bring it down to earth, from a high. Different somehow, from the rest of the poem. Can't put my finger on it.

Aparna

Older - 4 (Peter Griffin)

You look at me and think
Old man.
You don’t see the toddler
Gawping at a world
Where all was new.

continue..

Thanks for the formatting tips.

If that was irony I felt in the capitalized Work Bag and Work Clothes, I thought it might be extended to First Paycheck.

The following is only point I thought is a little overstated.
"The bald scalp
The crumbling face
The stumble
The stiffness"

Will wait to see the new version.
Aparna

Friday, June 8, 2007

The First Rain Saudade (John Matthew)

First Rain Saudade

The first showers fall,
Syncopated percussions,
Like memory of first love.

continue...

The monsoon comes through really well in all the descriptive imagery. I found myself thinking more about the monsoon than love.

Esp. the phrase "buildings reflected in recent clouds", the urban connection to nature is simply felt, expressed, and beautiful.

Aparna

Monday, June 4, 2007

Humor

A lot of people have no sense of humor. They are well-read, but they have no sense of the absurd. They analyze it, they ponder it, they reflect on it. They don't laugh. A laugh is the only appropriate reaction to something funny.

If I tell you this joke..

After losing a breaststroke swimming competition, the blonde complained to the judges, "The others were all using their arms".

Sign that you get the joke - you laugh.
Sign that you don't get the joke - Your comments are about a) cheating in sports b) women in sports c) swimming competitions d) Judges biased for/against blondes e) philosophy of winning/losing.

If I don't label my writing as Humor, I tend to get comments from people who think I'm writing my views, not making up stories to get a laugh. I can't decide if that means I am not funny enough, or some people don't get that it is supposed to be funny.

I find this a big difference in Indian society v/s the West. Having lived in both places, I can see that some forms of conversational humor are not recognized as such over here (by some).

Check out the comments on Commenting (Or Not). See if you can spot the difference in the commenters - the ones who took it literally are the ones giving out advice on commenting/writing.

Story Teller (Short Story) / Vineesh Krishnan

The bus lurched forward. It had been trapped in a traffic jam for the last fifteen minutes.

“The girl mismatched the heads with the torsos. Tell me why she did it? Give me the correct answer or I am going to tell you another story.”

She thought hard. She wasn’t concentrating. She had been practicing the aahs and ahas for long and had learned to do it without actually listening. There was a girl, there were two guys… Then what?

(Continue..)

I did miss the connection with the two pieces, until your comment. I was thinking she chopped some body part into two pieces, but didn't know why.

It's dark, I like it. You have so many echoes from the stories that were complex mythologicals, open to many interpretations. Hayavadana's transposed heads, Ganga. Like a subterranean river flowing underneath this woman's life, the memories of ancestral women and their dilemmas.

At one point, I wondered if you were going for the King Vikram and Betal reference, where the Betal (vampire) tells stories and asks questions, failing to answer which will explode Vikram's head.

Lots of possibilities here. I think the ending was in a way a little modern, Bobbitt-like banal. Would be fun if you thought of a way to align the ending with all those story references.

Aparna

I am want to suiciding (Poem) - Ozymandias

O well! O well!
Why you are not having water?
I am failed in exam.
I want to suiciding.
Why you to be cleaned now?
(Continue..)

Oh no, _____(how do you like to be addressed by lazy writers, Oz, Ozzy, Ozman, Sir Oz ? ) Pardon me if this is a bad question, I don't wanna be Oztracised in da community.

Do you really want to lead all those suiciders to this here forum :-)

The thought makes me want to be suiciding, and quickly.
Aparna
Run...

What all I escaped
Colors, textures, and words
All that was mystique
Crystal clarity blurred

continue

That was good. I feel the second stanza about aging is particularly good - "Beckon to unbecome". As the above comment says, couple of places where the beat changes could be tinkered with. The first line "what all I missed" is a literal translation of a phrase from the native tongue, the English usage would be "All that I missed", or "Everything I missed".

Aparna

I'm sorry, but that first line's just bad English.
It does not add anything, it's jarring to the ear.
Were it the intent, there would be consistent use of it in the rest of the poem.

Aparna

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Comment (Or Not)

I read something just now, and it created absolutely no desire in me to comment on it. No opinion, no feelings, no pithy comebacks, no derision, no admiration, just a blank. I can't identify with it at all. And I know this is not just happening to me alone. I also recently wrote something that got no comments at all. I could be writing something so fabulous that it went completely over your heads. Or not.

Someone asked why I don't comment on his posts. I think I said I could be so low in my reading skills that it went completely over my head. Or not.

What makes people decide to comment ? I thought about this for a while. I think, to the person reading, it has to feel like it addresses him. The tone, vocabulary level, style, choice of topic, degree of clarity all have to make him feel it is intended for him. I may have a clue here. Or not.

Like this - You're on a bus, sitting next to strangers, busy in their own thoughts, and you decided to say something aloud, a comment about the scenery out the window. A nice well-dressed family of trees, standing guard over a lake with little waves playing about, flashes by.

You look out the window and intone, loud enough for your neighbor to hear - "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in getting new contact lenses".

You think he heard you? It's hard to be sure. He may give no sign that he has. But perhaps he has heard you, and now what he's asking himself is the question: Is this guy talking to me, or to himself? (So, in all probability, did the 27 people who read your post, but refrained from comment).

If he stops pretending to be asleep, and looks at you, you can be sure he heard something. But perhaps not all. He may have caught just the last few words 'getting contact lenses', and is now under the impression that you're a Bausch and Lomb salesman.

You have to assure him you're not selling anything, or this conversation is over before it started. So you nod helpfully, and provide the context for your sudden outburst, by way of saying to him "Albert Camus. I believe that's what he said about journeys".

You think he would know who this Albert Camus is? You think he cares? If he rolls his eyes, or pretends to fall asleep again, he may not. But if he talks back to you - "No, I believe that was Proust. And he was talking of new eyes, not lenses" - it may mean he's interested in journeys, or new eyes. Or not. He may be thoroughly bored of journeys and new eyes. And strangers who want to talk about journeys and new eyes. Either way, he's still a mysterious stranger about whom there's much more left for us to learn.

There is one thing no one wants or expects a mysterious stranger on a bus to do and that is - Snuggle up closer and say, "Your lenses make your eyes so much bigger". If he does this, it's a signal to get off the bus pronto. That sort of guy is likely to send you 15 private messages in an hour after reading your one post.

Let's hope he doesn't do that. More likely he considers the conversation over, even as your misquote has been put in its place, and start fiddling with his cellphone instead. At least you know he's heard you, and understood you.

But what if he said nothing in return, and just glanced sharply at you, and returned to peruse his magazine? How do you find out if he agrees with you, or dislikes Camus, journeys or lenses? Or that his native language is Tulu and he speaks no English? Or that your accent was so bad, he thought you were speaking Tulu?

At this point, there is likely a temptation one must resist very firmly - to poke him in the ribs and say, "What did you think of what I said?" That sort of thing will at best get you thrown off the bus, and at worst... well, the worst depends on your neighbor's creativity, size, and tools at his disposal.

You may want to call his bluff about being too busy with his cellphone, too interested in his magazine, or too sleepy to respond. But that will just get him all riled up, and he'll be forced to take it out on you. It can get nasty. You can wait for a while, to see if he's going to respond. You can wait forever.

Or you can adopt a simpler, clearer style that everybody is familiar with: - "I thought I recognized you from somewhere. Are you somebody famous?". There is little chance anybody famous is sitting in a bus, instead of a limousine, but you can try. A slim possibility exists he may never have heard that line before, and will find it refreshingly original, and be moved to say so.

You could change to a more popular topic - "Ever hear that one about Rachel Welch and the Pope in a boat?". You may get lucky this way. Or not. That joke has been around for a while, and it may have gone stale. You can simply move to the next seat and start your work afresh on another busmate. You may fare better there. Or worse.

If you have been ejected by an entire bus of passengers without mercy, you don't have to give up and fade away. It is helpful to remember what David Hockney said - "Art has to move you, but design does not. Unless it is a design for a bus".

Or not helpful. It all depends on what that Hockney was talking about. I have no idea. I just like to write.

As the crow flies (Ashish Gorde)

This story could read like a fable, but it is not. It is simply dressed like one, and might even give the impression of one of those quaint moral tales with deep underlying meaning, but it is nothing like that. It is simply an account of a bizarre experience in our garden, which may or may not have moral implications but we could take a chance.
continue..

(This is more about the story...)

One possibility is that while the crows didn't know how to help the baby get back to the nest, they didn't want any other people venturing near for fear that their intent was to harm the baby. After all, they have no way of knowing you're trying to help.

We ran into a bunch of elephants blocking the road near a coffee estate. A young elephant had stuck its leg among some rocks and was unable to get free, and the herd didn't know how to help, but they were guarding it, so no one else would take advantage of its helpless state. Unfortunately they were also preventing the forest department trying to get close to the trapped one so they could free it.

Aparna

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Freak

"So what are you going to do?", Lovely said.

"Nothing. I am going straight to work, then taking the train out at 2:30, I won't think about this until I'm back from Philly Tuesday". I added three pairs of socks, and a book ("The Six Cents - by Knight Shyamalan") on the top of 3 neatly folded shirts of varying pinkness in plastic covers.

"And then?"

"And then I tell him we're off, we're through, finito. I can't go through life with a freak."

"He's not a freak. He's just a litte uh...dogged by bad karma lately". Lovely likes to stick up for Manish, because he brings Pinkberry icecream home every Friday evening, and he always brings her some, even though she doesn't live with us. And he guards it like a cat from me, checking the fridge everyday to see if the box has been moved around. I mean, she doesn't even come by for 3-4 days sometimes, and it sits there perfectly aligned with the black line on the fridge light he drew, so he'd know if it was moved. Yeah, I know about that. It's low. It sucks. It's Manish's bloody sense of fair play

"He is a freak. I've never even heard of things like that happening to anybody once, and it happens to him all the time.He's a whole Ripley's book all by himself". I added the black eyehole top that I think is sexy, actually a little slutty. The eyehole is just a little too big.

She was trying that face on me again, the Mother Theresa Accosted by Man Selling Viagra Still Life in Poster colors face. "Why do you wear that thing? It's hideous, it makes you look like a tramp. I'm not surprised if men feel like stopping you and saying Ëxcuse me, how much for half-hour?"

"I like slutty. You have no kink in your soul, that's the problem. Besides, men like that don't waste time saying Excuse Me". She's irritated, and I'm off to a good day. I'll be all sweetness at the office now.

"But I haven't told you what happened yesterday", I continue.

"What yesterday?"

"Yesterday we were getting ready for Ennis's party, and Manish was sitting on the bed, checking the laptop for map directions, and he was drinking Coke straight from the liter bottle, like he does, and he drank a little too much too quickly. Started to come out of his nose. Have you ever snorted Coke from your nose? It stings your nasal membranes like two hells. So he spit out the Coke from his mouth, and it landed on the keyboard of the laptop, and shorted it. Blew up sparks all around like mini fireworks. It gave him a bad shock."

"Oh my god, it must have scared him." Lovely was concerned and excited at the same time. She's not bad, actually. She really likes Manish, but she also likes to hear how Manish gets it under the chin sometimes.

I swung around the bed and sat down next to her. I have to be leaving soon. But this story has got to be finished.
"No, I mean he really got an actual electric shock. Couldn't feel his fingers and toes for a while. We gave Ennis and his party a miss, went to Emergency instead. Had to tell this story to the doc three times. He was very doubtful. He thought maybe we'd been doing some Friday evening after-work happy-shiny highs. I had to tell him some of the other stories. How Manish was shaving with a knife in memory of the old Italian barbershop his father used to take him to, and how he sneezed and cut his jugular and had to go to St Martins through Memorial Weekend traffic wrapped in a bed sheet, because there was no time to dress.

"The nephew story?" she volunteered. She knows all the stories now, better than me. She's even been using it as a fallback conversation picker-upper when nothing else works on whichever colleague she's trying to get interested in her.

"That too. Although the doctor thought I was exaggerating when I said Manish actually killed his own nephew by falling on him. He said it was extremely unlikely - any 4 year old would be hurt, perhaps bruised quite a bit, but die of internal bleeding from an elbow in his stomach? But it happens to Manish. Anyhow, the thing I wanted to tell you is that Manish told me something weird last night.after we got back from the hospital"

Lovely's eyeballs grew large.

"He said that just before anything nasty like this happens to him, he has like a split second thought of 'What if an accident like this happened?', and then it really happens. Each and every time."

"He's got precognition?!" - she said, now actually aroused, "He can see it before stuff happens!". Her excitable hand was messing up the clothes in my suitcase,. I shut it, pushed the zipper around in one swift circular motion, then pulled it off the bed and stood up, ready to leave.

"No, that's not quite it." I was definitely late now.
"Manish thinks he's actually making this stuff happen by thinking it".

She stared at me. "Why would he make such stuff happen?"

I had this last bit well prepared, "He said he may be doing it to get me to dump him. Because I won't want to be near someone who has accidents all the time".

She was all up on Manish's side now. "And you are? Going to dump him for thinking that? That's not fair. I mean, even if he's nuts thinking what he's thinking, it's not true, you know that."

"Yes, I know it's not the truth. He's a freak, I told you". I stepped out the door, closed it behind me. I stood for a minute.
I should, I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I should ?

I opened the door and peeked back at her. She was still standing where she had stood. I grinned.
"He's doing it for you. Will you call him and tell him I ate your icecream?"

Caferati link..

The shocking truth about the slush pile [Article excerpt and link] (Peter Griffin)

...
The envelopes and emails rolled in, and I rolled them out with the standard knockback letter. It stopped being funny; it felt arduous. I hated that it was my job to shatter people's dreams of being published, but I also hated that so many of them had such illiterate dreams. The physical act of writing a book may not be difficult, but there's a big difference between smacking away at a keyboard and writing something that anyone who doesn't really love you wants to read. The majority of people who submitted their work went wrong after the first few pages at best, if the cover letter wasn't dreadful.

From "The shocking truth about the slush pile" by Jean Hannah Edelstein at the Guardian Blogs. Read the whole thing at http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/books/2007/05/the_shocking_truth_about_the_s.html (and don't forget to read through the huge number of comments from both sides of the fence).

Caferati link...

I read the entire post and the comments with a good amount of chuckling. The divide between the publishing world view and those on the wrong side of the slush pile - who serves whom ? - never really gets smaller with all the discussions.

I started to read the blog of one Miss Snark, agent extraordinaire in 2005. I was reading it purely for her snarkisms, but she is both funny and informative, and discovered a whole new vocabulary starting from SASE and slush pile that I had no idea even existed :-)

She stopped writing recently, but the blog archives still exist at http://misssnark.blogspot.com

Aparna

Friday, June 1, 2007

The Pun is mightier than the sword

I got a message from a person with a cool nickname - it was a pun, an original one. He read one of my Caferati comments, and said he could not agree with it more, and hoped the futility of becoming posterity's poster child it would take the pressure off writing (am just paraphrasing him here).

I love puns. I love people who think up great puns. I love 'punny' people who write in to say they could not agree with me more. What's not to love?

The mood has lightened considerably after this.

When Our Writing Becomes Us (John Matthew)

Jump to it..


Dan,
Thanks for the tip. Next book on my list. :-)

John,
Critics can judge, applaud, point to flaws, and compare with other writers, but they cannot tell a writer what to write. They don't decide what books must be written.

I recently read that the number of new English books published in 2004 was 375,000. Total number of English books available for purchase the same year: 450,000. The average reader probably goes through 10 or 20 in a year.
This of course excludes all magazine articles, blog posts, newspapers and every other form of printed information a person comes across, online or offline.

What an avalanche of advice, impressions and thoughts! It seems impossible for anyone to leave any lasting impression behind. I hope we all write at least in part to please ourselves, and those who may chance on it today, rather than posterity.

(If this realization isn't the stuff of Kafka, what is :-) )

Aparna

Making Poetry Submissions [Article excerpt and link / Peter Griffin (Moderator)

Making Poetry Submissions
Chris Hamilton-Emery

Why do I write?

Before considering making a poetry submission to any publisher it is important to consider what you want to contribute to a publishing relationship and precisely what you want to achieve within your writing life. This is certainly not a financial contribution, we're not talking about vanity presses in these notes, it is a far more important contribution than just money. Understanding your intentions and efforts as a writer will, to a large extent, determine what choices are to be made and provide you with a few opportunities and very many challenges. It might surprise you to discover that being published may not be the best choice for you and your work.
(continue...)

--------------
"However, this is not a test for the financial viability of your poems in a published work."

Like everyone else, I'm curious - so I'll hijack this thread, with the dumb question of what is the test of poetry that can sell. I know, it's the million-euro question.

Is there something we can learn by asking - What do we know about the poetry we like to pay for, as readers? Obviously, these are the successful poets.

Hope there'll be more discussions, tips, and questions/answers from people here.

Aparna

Run... [Verse] / Vyom Prashant

Run...

What all I escaped
Colors, textures, and words
All that was mystique
Crystal clarity blurred
(continue reading)

That was good. I feel the second stanza about aging is particularly good - "Beckon to unbecome". As the above comment says, couple of places where the beat changes could be tinkered with. The first line "what all I missed" is a literal translation of a phrase from the native tongue, the English usage would be "All that I missed", or "Everything I missed".

Aparna

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - A Review / Rahul

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - A review

That day, feeling slightly high on a rationed quantity of Old Monk and carbonated fizz, I walked in home to find my brother and my dad talking about a plane crashing into the WTC and even as I was trying to register surprise...I heard that another plane had crashed into its twin tower and suddenly there was this enormous possibility of it being deliberate. I remember feeling sad about the people trapped in the twin towers...but somewhere deep inside me, I was smiling at seeing the confusion within the American Intelligentsia. To use a cliché, 'in one swell swoop', the US of A was exposed to war in their own land.
(continue reading)

Hi Rahul
Your review provokes interest in the book, which I was unsure about reading before. I was waiting to hear some of the book's conclusions about why people like Changez reject America (but you didn't give them away :-)) - and where the root of that phenomenon lies. It cannot be explained broadly as cultural clash, as there are plenty of Muslims who still live in America, integrated or not. Is it a personal orientation, or the play of individual circumstances, or a tide of the times? Is it more about where a person is in his own life, the search for meaning in one's own life seeking larger voices to identify with.

From your description, it appears the book prefers to examine closely the experiences of one individual, hoping to find a clear thread of cause and effect. But perhaps this is a more complex issue, with multiple causations, and the author presents one aspect, without attempting to compile all causes, or an analysis of how they affect individuals.

I'll have to read this book, to find out.
Thanks for the review.

Aparna

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Rohit Sundarraman's funny profile

Jump to it...

Funny profile. How much of that stuff was your own?
OK, snark's over.

Was reading your comment at Hungry writer's post. That was interesting. Now I'm reading your profile, and no less interesting is the thought of making a documentary called Porn v/s Rainforests - An Inconvenient Truth.

Aparna /milika

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Euphoria /Rohan Sundaram

Streaking through the neon blur,
Drunk on lethal power,
I leave a trail for others to follow,
But all they can do is watch and admire.
(continue reading..)


Wherever you were driving, sounds nice. Although neon blur must imply the city. Could be a longer poem.

Aparna

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Mumbai Read Meet, Summer of May [27] 2007 Report / Rochelle Potkar

Jump to it..

Rochelle, that was so interesting, I forgot I was reading a report of an actual meeting, and not a piece of fiction writing here.

Aparna

Friday, May 25, 2007

Have you stroked the mane of a roaring lion (hungry writer)

Have you stoked the warm embers of passionate rebellion
Have you been drunk on the nectar of the soft dew of the imaginations

Have you cupped the flame of incandescent conversation
Or once sank into the bracket of an unspoiled affair.

read it on Caferati...

Cool!
Stroked the mane of a roaring lion ? No - I'm chicken.

Several iines of the 'questionnaire' were fine-sounding- the flames of an incandescent conversation, the shade of a goddess (would make a fine title), the back-alleys of a false prophet.

'Have you smelt the bitter art of the loom of invention' -
Looms have no smells or tastes, you could use a fabric metaphor there.

Aparna

Silent Revenge (Rehana Ali)

read it on caferati ..

It is a powerful story, about triumph over fear. What keeps these women from complaining is fear of losing even more than they already have - fear of economic loss, fear of public scrutiny, fear of further abuse, fear for their families.

To overcome this debilitating fear, they had to do something pretty drastic. Something so extreme, it would erase it from their minds forever. That comes out well in the mutilation scene. They were not killing these men, they were attacking their own fears.

You were right not to detail the consequences were of these actions - were they further targeted, were they left alone, did they get arrested? The story ends at the right place - where these women began to emerge from fear.

I feel, it's still more of news reportage format, not a piece of writing. For a writer's forum, you could add your understanding of who these women are, why this happened, and why this is bigger than revenge, etc.

Aparna

Thursday, May 24, 2007

A Series of Poems (Manjul Bajaj)

Read the poems here


I like the last two. 'A tongue inseparable from its poetry'- and its poets - Urdu is a treat.

I don't know what shankh-pola is, so I missed the reference. 'In the mouth of' sounds a little clunky, too literal. Maybe rework that - just 'white as the teeth /of the smiling bridegroom' would be fine.

The sentiment varied a little, I felt. Urdu, you pick because it is the most poetic, but you'd rather be a little brown bird than a dazzling kingfisher(if you would be a bird) though both fly. Why the best in one, and the lesser in another? Did I miss something?

Aparna

Monday, May 21, 2007

Prediction (Shubhra Chaturvedi)

Read the poem here

Sweet, Haiku-like feeling.
The last two lines, as I was thinking about, them- Prediction repeats, so maybe..

Shower it may, in season
But who can predict his arrival?

Aparna

Friday, May 18, 2007

Baby Fat (Kavisha Pinto)

Read the essay here

I'm laughing. Internal Socket Error indeed. A very good read, it was building up nicely, the ankle was a sudden end

Aparna

Monday, May 14, 2007

The Kiss (Preeti Bose)

The Kiss (Preeti Bose)

Aparna - what on earth is 'sprinkle your dew drops?'
Hope its not a euphemism for sex, which is what came to mind and spoiled the effect a bit :)

------------

Aparna - No, no shocked sensibilities, actually :-) I meant the exact opposite - that phrase "sprinkle your dewdrops" is too coy, which is what ruined the effect. Such phrases are more at home in old-fashioned novels.

The rest of the poem read well, its contemporary in its feeling. You could keep the thought, but word it in a contemporary way.

Cheers
Aparna

Friday, May 11, 2007

On Uttar Pradesh (Vijay Nair)

On Uttar Pradesh (Vijay Nair)

I like the 'symbol'ogy.
Going good,

Aparna
(why did the lotus go into lowercase?)

-------------------
May 15
Guess No. 1 - Is this a concern about possible flaming of opinions and general disharmony?

What about religion then, or sex? I'm sure there are some who are thinking why should Adult content be allowed?

If I'm atheist, I could say "Please keep your religious preferences to yourself"?

If someone writes on feminism, men could say "I'm offended, please stop?"

Where is the line ?

Guess No. 2 - Is it simply a subject of no interest personally?
One can always avoid reading it.

Aparna

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Mahishasura OOru (Ratna Rajaiah)

Mahishasura OOru (Ratna Rajaiah)

Ratna, I think you covered it all, pretty much, with a light entertaining touch. I come to Mysore now and then, msinly headed for the Zoo (soothing place), the Jaganmohan Palace. And Nani's dosa.

Never been to the Green's Hotel, it sounds interesting. Not much of a fan of five star places, they all seem bit bland, if comfy. The heritage hotels are worth a see though.

Where did R.K.Narayan live, in Mysore, by the way? You could do another one about him and the literary circle of that Mysore. Would be perfect for a writer's group.

Aparna

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Want How and Why (A story or something like that ) (Mukesh Malik)

Want How and Why (A story or something like that ) (Mukesh Malik)

You can leave a link instead of reposting the entire poem in comments, by the way.
Aparna

--------------
http://www.ryze.com/posttopic.php?topicid=842761&confid=1199#2568563

re link-
What I do is copy the URL of the post page from the browser address bar into the comment. Or you can copy it from the list on Topics page.

As I said on Sridala's post, I don't have any comments right now, but I will return when I do. I have changed my privacy preferences to allow messages, but I may change it back if it gets me a lot of spam.

As for criticism, there's an interesting debate going on at Pushpa Moorjani's post "Hello critics, Should I like you".



Cheers
Aparna

Re-cycled Karma (Ravishankar C)

Re-cycled Karma (Ravishankar C)

Nice. Good title,too. Recycled Karma - I might borrow it -) (for a eco-product I'm designing )
çalligraphy', not caligraphy, I think?
Commas at end of lines - not necessary in verse.

Aparna

Permission to quote (Sridala)

Permission to quote (Sridala)


----------
Interesting essay, Sridala. True of all forums I have been in (since my dinosaur Usenet era days).

In my experience though, feedback does not change the person's idea of self, but only modifies their behavior on that forum, as they begin to perceive what the rules of the game on the forum are, and begin to play accordingly.

More often than the critic realizes, feedback is silently discounted by the receiver (though outwardly there are the usual thank-yous) because the feedback giver is a comparative stranger.

Most people only pay attention to feedback from people that they know well, and this makes sense, because then feedback can be put into context. Feedback from someone whose writing skills we know to be good is worth more than feedback from someone we don't think much of. But with a stranger, there is no context.

In most forums the democratic approach makes it impossible to select who we receive feedback from, and conventions demand that we treat all feedback equally. Some will say feedback should be taken on its own weight, regardless of who is giving it, but this is one of those nice thoughts which ignores reality.

Aparna

Sridala, I agree about freedom changing a person even if feedback doesn't.

----------

Mukesh, I thought I had set my preferences to receive messages from anyone, if not, I need to change that.

Are writers really different? Yes, but I think everyone is different, so I assume no special status for writers in particular. No more different from non-writers than dancers from non-dancers, smokers from non-smokers, rotarians from non-rotarians.

I don't argue your preference to be open to response from anyone. If you are, more power to you. I'm speaking merely of my experience.

Re your posts, I have read them, but haven't had any comments to make, yet. I will definitely, when I do have something to say.

Aparna

Monday, May 7, 2007

Hello critics, should I like you? (Anita Butani)

Hello critics, should I like you? (Anita Butani)
(This was not a piece of writing in the usual sense, but a discussion about criticism)

--------------
Regarding readership that posts get, I think it is the same as books. There's the habit of reading only the genres, topics and styles that we like. In this case, skipping posts isn't about quality. A professional critic would be required to read a lot, but even they aren't asked to read every kind of book; they do specialize in certain kinds of writing.

Sometimes I read but don't comment because the poor quality is not grammar or spelling or clichés, those are simple to point out. Sometimes its more complex - something felt, but hard to explain. Blame my lack of vocabulary for becoming speechless at that point.

If its merely a personal preference, I keep that to myself. I have my dislikes - the maudlin, the cutesy, the grandiose, people who don't revise their work. But its a preference, not criticism.

Criticism from others is a good thing, but one also has to learn to see one's own work critically. Looking in the mirror is essential before we go out of the house and let others see us - catch the toilet paper stuck to heels, mascara on the nose, unzipped fly, etc instead of leaving it to others to point out.

Aparna (milika)

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Come to me (Ravishankar)

Come to me (Ravishankar)

I read the first version, I liked it better. It was more ...well, punchy, assertive. It was long, but it didn't lose steam anywhere. You're probably thinking - this goes to prove you can't please everyone :-). I wouldn't understand what you're saying as well as I do now, had I not read the first version.

Aparna

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Writing with Humility (Aditya Seth)

Writing with Humility (Aditya Seth)

How true. And how often we forget.
Aparna

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Time Wounds All Heels

Caferati link

You left me, not vice versa,
Unrepentant Godbole
Walked straight out of the cafe
Stuck as I was, in a traffic jam
of waiters
And swelling emotions
I failed to register a timely repartee
To the quip:"Cash or Card?"
'Madame' has forgotten her purse
What's worse
You had the Creme Bruleé
On my birthday
And the better view
And an 'urgent' appointment, too.
Allow me to pay
This time- No, no, I insist!
You'll get what you deal
I have it on good word that
Time wounds all heels

:-)

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Travelling Together (poem) (Priyanka Joseph)

Thursday night here in the new world,
and outside this train's window
the blinking lights of a city rolling past
is the sky we're staring into.
if I could rewire an entire power grid
right now, before the cops came,

continued..




Its playful tone is very appealing. I hear the love in it.
Great images.
Aparna

Friday, April 27, 2007

Mercurial (Ravishankar C)

Mercurial :
Solar flare one moment,
cozy warmth in the next...

Mercurial :
Dont let me touch you,
golden haired girl,
mercury and gold amalgams
have the shine of neither...
continued..


"Mercury and gold amalgams have the shine of neither" - the best line.

For whatever reason, it reminded me of Gibran's,
"And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow"

Aparna

Borewell (Poem)

Lying in wait in broad daylight
Gaps in the earth
Like meaningless words
Of a news hound
Tapping soundless tears
Will the funeral be delayed?

Walking the same way as yesterday,
but somehow foosteps sense tragedy
And the sky is shrunk to a moon
A circle of light far above
No homework for me
Today or any other day.

Caferati link..

Sandeep, 9 years old, died trapped in an abandoned borewell for 57 hrs, RIP.
http://www.deccanherald.com/deccanherald/apr262007/update028442007427.asp

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Listen (Rohinton Daruwala)

Listen*


Listen
tea, rhymes with gold,
or better still,
sunlight breaking through
the trees,
continued..

So lovely until the last para - a bit of a cliché.
Aparna

Medusa (Anindita Sengupta)

Did you look in the mirror one day and
find that you had grown used to it? The hair -
gleaming, little coils, each one tensile
as rope; the tongue quick and sharp as sunlight;
eyes vast in that thin face, deeper than earth.
continued..

I liked everything except the line "the girl walking calmly to meet the sea" and the word "rainsoaked".
Love the last 2 stanzas.
Aparna -milika

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Bad Writing (Writing Exercise)

Praise the all-cognizant celestial divinity that I am not a defective correspondent. I apperceive that I am not abhorrent in my contributions, considering the actuality that my spelling is predominantly gratifying, my cognition of the principles of linguistic structure is substantial, and my excessive adoption of multi-syllabic idiom is congenital.

I formulate entire communications, merely to emblazon my acquaintance with an acclaimed scribe of current vogue whose actual works I am entirely free of comprehension (as I extolled in my essay on Kundera's alleged remarks on the lastability of prejudiced identities).

I often give impulse to fatuous verse..(can you attend the thunderous applause I hear in my cerebellum as I commit this)

Ode to Thee, my Reader, in Thy solitude
A plea! - Why Thou art not mine
Thine loneliness art thy escape
As thou gracefully spurn thy love
to those who still 'thee, thine, thou'

Thus I stand perfectly equipped by power of education and an eminently accessible thesaurus to effectuate upon the universe my meritorious and laudable efforts, bar the fact that I possess no cogitations to express. I however do not restrain myself on such barren occasions, as being mostly anthropomorphic, I am not wholly against self-titillation.

Caferati Link..

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Island of Lost Ideas (Ramasubramanian G S)

(unfortunately, the original seems to have disappeared off Caferati)

Are you planning to post more chapters? Very engaging writing. Especially the part in the first chapter where he backtracks to ask why they think he is impartial - that he doesn't ask the question right away, but thinks of it as an afterthought. Small fact, but what a huge difference it made - being lifelike, instead of logical made everything that followed it look real as well. We try to order events logically, and it seems stagey, and not natural.

Reading your first chapter, somewhere in the middle, my mind started to go off tangent trying to finish that Chapter as a different kind of story. I don't usually ask this, but would you mind if I tried that and posted it?

Aparna

poem-This Moment Etched (Abha Iyengar)

THIS MOMENT ETCHED

Can I place this moment
In your hand
And ask you to gulp it down
So that it sears your throat
Leaving a furrow
within
Your skin
so smooth and clear
continued..


"Right there
At the base of your throat
Where your pulse quickens
at the sight of me
This moment."

Beautiful, forceful.

Friday, April 20, 2007

The ESL test (Caferati)

You've heard of Lynne Truss's Eats, Shoots & Leaves, right? Have you tried The Punctuation Game on the book's site? No? Hie thee thither post-haste. And if you get much less than 100 per cent, reconsider your writing career. Seriously.

~peter

Link..

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Fictional Guides to Travel: Mma Ramotswe’s Botswana (Book Review) (Aparna Singh)

Sometimes the best writing about a place comes not from focused travel writing, but from fiction that lays no claim to being any sort of guide to travel. These places could be in a time long gone by, like the post-war Britain of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Remains of the Day, or contemporary, like the desolate Sundarbans of Amitava Ghosh’s The Hungry Tide.
continued..

I think I would have read this anyway as a travel bug- Though you don't say it right away, the name of Madame Ramotswe immediately connected me to McCall-Smith's sharply observed and simply unique characters. This is a good reminder to catch up with his latest book.

Pico Iyer is another unique travel writer setting himself apart in the melee of adventure based travel writing, with the way he connects a state of mind to a place. And I would say Alain De Botton's The Art of Travel is one of the most elegant books on the questions of why we travel, how we travel and what we get out of it.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Here's a financial year end/beginning poem (Nupur Chaturvedi)

Signing away my fate

It came to me one day,
That I sign my fate away,
Because I spend way too much time,
In the art of perfecting my sign.

continue...

Funny poem, Nupur. The topic was unexpected - I'm looking forward to more such. It would also work well in prose.

Aparna - milika

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What if these movies were made ..

I was looking at an HBO schedule, and I think Hollywood is running out of ideas. I think they need a new way to freshen up tired old plots. And the thought crossed me, as I read the names adjacent to one another, that individually they all stink, but some of them might make original movies when thematically paired with the next in the list.

Conspiracy Theory+ Vanity Fair
Tagline: All is fair in love, war and conspiracies.
Mel Gibson runs paranoid through stiff-upper lip Victorian society.

Vanity Fair+ Troy
Tagline: All is fair in love, war and ancient Greece.
Brad Pitt is a spirited social climber in ancient Greece, way too obsessed with his looks.

Troy+ Bad Boys
Tagline: Watcha gonna do in ancient Greece?
Two guys, one a henpecked family man, the other a dashing ladies man, combine forces and shoot it up among ancient Greeks.

Bad Boyz+ Inside I'm Dancing
Tagline: Watcha gonna do, except live life like you mean it.
Two guys, one a henpecked family man, the other a dashing ladies man, shake up a condescending Home for the Disabled.

A Match Made in Heaven+ Seed of Chucky
Tagline: Deliver us from evil matchmakers
Olympia Dukakis is an evil doll who tries to matchmake her son into marrying her nurse, so more Chucky movies can be made.

Men In Black+ Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
Tagline: The last (swim)suit you'll ever wear
Sandra Bullock goes undercover to find out why aliens from Third World are winning so many beauty titles.

Miss Congeniality+ Twelve Monkeys
Tagline: The future is history. So is Sandra Bullock's career.
Sandra Bullock must stop the The Twelve Monkeys who are time-traveling terrorists from unleashing a deadly virus, which will put a stop to beauty pageants once for all.

Farenheit 9/11+Tales from the crypt
Mike Moore makes Tales from the White House of Horrors.

The Last Samurai+ An Officer and a Gentleman
Tagline: It will lift you up where you belong. (That's in Japan)
A wayward Tom Cruise goes to Japan, to become a man, with the help of a Geisha girl, and some ass-whupping Samurais.

Man-Thing+ Rambo
Tagline: When nature fights back, its fighting for it's life.
An unstable Swamp monster begins a one-man war with a small town

Rambo + Mean Girls
Tagline: This time he's really fighting for the right to sit in the cafeteria without getting bitchslapped
An unstable Vietnam vet must must use all his skills when starting a one-man war with a bunch of mean A-list high school prom queens.

Catwoman+ Romeo must die
An avenging cop falls for the Catwoman, a drug baron's daughter who is a cat-loving lesbian. Now he must die for it.

Coming to America + Batman
Batman is a masked Third World superhero trying to use his superpowers to sneak past immigration without a visa.

Batman+ Disturbing Behavior
Well, we've already got the Jack Nicholson as The Joker in Batman, who is disturbing enough. No need to make this movie.

The School of Rock+ Exorcist
Jack Blacka is a teach who tries to get Linda Blair to sing, but her voice sounds uncannily like a hoarse man, and now an exorcist must cure her in time for the school rock concert.

Enter the dragon+ Something's gotta give
Diane 'the dragon' Keaton and Jack 'I'm never giving up acting" Nicholson are maritalarts ..oops martial-arts experts.

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason + Bourne Supremacy
Bridget and her diary must find out if the man she married is really a trained CIA operative with amnesia, or simply a husband who's come up with the ultimate excuse for forgetting their anniversary.

Barb Wire + The Spongebob Squarepants movie
Tagline: Dont call me babe! Dont call me Bob, either. Its Spongebob.
Kiddies will love this. Pamela Anderson as bikini-bottom clad mercenary in Bikini Bottom, hometown of SpongeBob, helping him track down ...whatever. With Pam in bikinis, no one will remember the plot.

Rambo III + A cinderella story
Rambo - the chickflick. What more can I say?

Monday, April 9, 2007

Join the Feminists (Aparna Singh)


I often meet people whom I would call feminist - they respect women and their choices, they treat women as people with independent minds, accept equal pay, question traditional norms of how women are supposed to be and so on. But many such people shy away from calling themselves feminist because they think the term is somehow equivalent to hating men, or bra-burning. Well, some news. Its not. Bra-burning for instance was a symbolic act performed by some women in a particular context. That doesn’t mean it represents all things feminist, or is equal to feminism.

continue...

Anil,

The article writer is very confused. He thinks modern women should jump into bed the minute a guy buys them a coffee. If that doesn't happen, his hormones are frustrated and wants to blame women's equal rights movement for it. Not surprising, I find lots of young men, including my nephews also in the same boat.

This is nothing to do with women asking to be paid the same as a male employee at work, etc. Does he think women who don't ask for equal rights are more easily convinced to have sex with him on the first date? That's a silly idea.


Saturday, April 7, 2007

The Jet Lagged Parrot (Smitha Bhat )



We were one of those typical , so often caricatured apartment complexes – full of stolidly middle class families, energetically involved in each other’s lives, extremely right wing and righteous. Then how, how did we get drawn in to a web of attempted homicide, adultery and gang wars?

It all started with the parrot.

continue...

Loved the jetlagged parrot.
Some of the phrasing had me laughing out loud. "Slinking sideways like an embarrassed crab".

I can relate to the names - lived a few years in Chennai. In fact, it added to the characterization for me, as certain names echo some physical attribute or personality trait, but I think that layer of fun is generally lost on non-regional audience. It is upto you, if you want to keep it that way, or not. On the other hand, I wouldn't ask R.K.Narayan to update 'Swami and Friends' to 'Nitin and Buddies', or 'Ricky and his homies'.

Jugal is right about quoted dialogue needing to appear on separate lines, in a single para containing the conversation.

The story slowed because of digressions at 8th-9th para ("Usha's son is visiting", and "killer exams"), and 19th para ("crush on maths teacher"), didn't contribute directly to the storyline. You don't need a background story on every character - that works better in a longer story, but tends to slow the pace in a short piece.

I liked the seduction/adultery theme related to the parrot's singing (rock music's effect? nice commentary), the building society meet, and the last para's return to Rajashekar's attempted seduction.

Humor flowed,
Aparna

Thursday, April 5, 2007

The Outcaste II (Kavisha Pinto)

What are you waiting for, The Godfather theme to play?
Let me make this clear, I have no money, no Italian children and I did not gift a guy a severed horse head as an early morning surprise.

The girl who sits next to me, well I still don’t know her name; she does not have a name plate at her desk and her neighbour calls her “excuse-me”, if she was Chinese I would’ve assumed that it is in fact her name.

continue...

(Aparna Singh, from the OK-la and stapler effects I'd say its an office in Singapore/Hong Kong.)

A fun piece Kavisha. Laughed hard at shaving the back of her head to find her name/number. The right evil touch. Wish you'd continued with that neighbor.
The stapler stuff was funny, but I think getting the chain was not the stopping point, could take the story up to the next (and final?) encounter with the stapler borrower after that.

Spik to you sun - ("shits of pepper", hahaha)
Aparna

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Grim(m) Fairy Tales

In a land of green fields bordered by dark forests, there lived a farmer. He owned a buffalo named Dreamie, who had three young daughters. The farmer named the first one Cinderella, the second Miss Muffet, and the third was called Red Riding Hood. They led a pleasant life, going out to graze all day in green hills, and returning home at sunset, and settling down to chat around their mother before falling asleep.

The farmer was an unusual man. Something of a loner, he had never taken a family, nor did he spend much time in the village pubs. The other villagers made no effort to befriend him, whispers having gone around that the farmer had some strange qualities. In particular, it was said that he could understand the voices of the animals.

They were not wrong. The farmer (though not very often, being the silent type), spoke to his little herd and understood them when they replied to them. He would sometimes come into the stables silently, and sit a little away from them, listening to the girls chatting to each other. Once in a while, he told them stories of his life, the village and the world beyond. They listened, chewed the cud, and fell asleep dreaming of the things they heard.
As days passed, the three little ones grew up into young buffaloes. They were each different from the other. Cinderella the eldest was sensitive and artistic, and prettier than the others. She had dark eyes that often stared long into the distance, daydreaming. Many things interested Cinderella, the world, its people and their ways. The farmer always got a lot of questions from her. Her taste for finer things led her to usually venture out further than the others in search of places where the grass tasted better, the water was sweeter, and the tree that had the coolest shade. To herself, she sometimes silently admitted that she preferred people to buffaloes, and the farmer to her own two sisters.

Miss Muffet was more conventional. She had neither the imagination of Cinderella nor the spirit of Red Riding Hood. In fact, the other two called her dull. But she was practical, kind and down-to-earth. Tales of far-away lands did not interest her as much as did cares of her little household. She gave the farmer no trouble, and was her mother's favorite.

Whereas Red Riding Hood was something of a daredevil. She liked breaking the rules to see if she could get away with it, and though she had not as much artistic temper or imagination as Cinderella, she was curious about the outside world. Her greatest dream was to wander in the mysterious cool forests bordering the town. But all the buffaloes were strictly forbidden by the farmer from entering the forests, and they obeyed him, willing or not.

One gloomy winter evening, the farmer sat in the warm cattle shed, smoking his pipe, and listening to the chatter of the three, and the rain in the trees. The young buffaloes, having exhausted their meal and their usual topics, turned to the question of the forbidden forests. Why were they forbidden? asked Cinderella turning to the farmer. Then the three heard of the ancient great tiger that roamed the forests and its ferocious temper and deadly jaws. The forest is a wonderful place, said the farmer, but it is also the home of the malignant tiger. No cattle who had ever set foot in the forests had been seen alive again. From time to time, he said, with a shake of his head, scavenging eagles had carried out bones and bits from the forest, which spoke of the fate of those misguided adventurers. They must never, never, he said, think of entering the forests, not as long as they valued their lives. How horrible, shuddered Cinderella, as the other two stared open mouthed. As they settled down to sleep, the farmer smiled to himself. He knew their time together was soon coming to an end.

As that winter passed, and spring arrived, a new excitement began to stir the village. Strange people were seen all day long, up and down the main street, and there was a carnival air about town. The young buffaloes noted it as they passed the town on their way to the hills to graze, and asked themselves what it could be. When they got home that night, they waited for the farmer to come in for their night feed, and eagerly questioned him. But all he would say was, You'll see very soon.

One day, they finally got their answer. They had not been sent to the hills that day, and after his breakfast, the farmer in his church clothes led all three into the town's main street. There they saw an astonishing sight. Everywhere they looked, from one end of the street all the way to the other, there were horns and hooves and dust and uproar. Cattle of all shapes and sizes filled the place. It was the spring cattle fair.

The three stuck close to the farmer, for fear of getting lost. The farmer led them to a large shed near the dry goods store. Here he sat down to wait for buyers, while he explained what was happening to the awestruck three. It is time, he said, for you three to find homes of your own. You will each be purchased by another farmer, like I once purchased your mother Dreamie, hopefully for a good sum, and he will take you with him to his home in another village, where you will find green grass, fresh water and a good life. You must be good, and do as he says, for he will be your family. Only the best cattle were sold, he said, so it was an honor to get a good buyer.

As they waited about, and munched the dry hay lying around, people came up and made various offers for them, all of which the farmer refused. Miss Muffet worried that he would find no buyers, but it was still noon, and the fair would continue until an hour before sunset. Finally, a wealthy farmer from the neighbouring village purchased Cinderella for a very good sum, and a smaller farmer bought Miss Muffet for a lesser, but still satisfactory amount. While they were congratulating each other, and the farmer was not paying attention, Red Riding Hood had quietly run away.

Red Riding Hood had not said anything since the farmer brought them to the fair, but she had been in a quiet panic. She did not want to go away with a new owner. All she had wanted was to explore the forest, and now it seemed her chance would slip away forever. Her new owner, whoever he might be turn out to be, would never allow her to enter the forest, after paying so much money to purchase her. She would live all her life in another village, and dream of the forest, and die never knowing what was in it. She got more and more agitated, and spotting her chance, she made a break for the forests. It was now or never. If she didn't do it now, she never again would. Off she ran, moving away from the crowds, to the little path that ran by the stream emerging from the forest.

It was a while before she was missed. It had taken the farmer a lot of tough haggling to settle the final prices for the other two, and to celebrate the purchase with the new owners over a glass of village brewed ale. But when her absence was realized, the other two had no time to talk about it. They were led off in different directions by their new owners, and the farmer, having looked everywhere for Red Riding Hood, gave up and went back to his home alone. Cattle often went missing in the fair, sometimes stolen, sometimes lost. She may turn up eventually, he told himself, or she may not. There was nothing he could do.

Miss Muffet's new home turned out to be not too different from her first. The new owner sent her out to graze all day, and treated her fairly. There were other cattle as well. She adjusted to the new routine of calving and milking without too much fuss, as she had seen her mother do the very same things. There was always something to be done, and Miss Muffet never had a chance to reflect or look around her. One day was like the next.

Sometimes she said to herself, I shall go see my sisters one of these days. And the old farmer, before he dies. There must be a lot to talk about. Maybe even see the forest one day. But there was no time now. Maybe when her owner was richer, and she had more time, and the tiger in the forest was dead, then she will go, she thought. Days passed quickly into years, she soon forgot her first owner, the village, the forest and hardly ever remembered her two sisters anymore.

Whereas, things did not go very well for Cinderella. Her owner was wealthier than Miss Muffet's, but also a busy man who had many businesses to run, and was rarely seen around his large cattleshed, except to inspect newborn calves and decide on the fate of the sickly ones. He employed a brace of cowhands, who fed and washed and cleaned and milked. But Cinderella missed her old farmer's company. No one talked to her anymore, and when she tried to ask questions, the people simply ignored her or threw her some hay. They did not understand her talk, and Cinderella couldn't understand why. The other buffaloes thought her strange for trying to talk to people and ignored her. They were only interested in hay and grass and calves.

Cinderella sulked in a corner, hoping someone would notice. She waited for a long time. No one noticed. The next day, she refused to eat, and kicked over her meal bucket. She grew hungry, but no reaction came from the cowhands or the cattle. She starved all day long. Her stomach burned and head spun, and she tried not to think of it. She ate nothing for three whole days but no one said anything. On the fourth day, in agony from hunger, she ate her entire meal in one gulp and gave up her fasting. She continued to be ignored.

One day, out of misery, she ate some funny grass so she could throw up her food. That should give them something to think about, she thought. Her farmer had always been extra considerate whenever one of the three sisters were ill, sitting up all night, talking to them gently. But all she got was some foul-tasting medicine in her food the next day. Still no one came to talk, no one cared. Cinderella grew more and more wretched and lonely. She lost her appetite. She lost weight, and cried herself to sleep every night.

And then one night, after many weeks, the owner appeared in the shed. He was looking at a couple of newborns. Cinderella decided to be bold and ask him why she was treated so badly. But he ignored her as always, and shouted at the cowhands to tie her up. As she was being pulled back roughly to her stall, the rope burned her neck, and desperation overcame her. She pulled away from the cowhand, and once free, headed for her old home. She ran all the way, weeping, not stopping to drink or eat, and by early dawn, she reached her old cowshed.

The farmer, hearing her hoofs, came out to see. He stared, shocked. Her eyes were dull, her skin hung loose, and she had lost a shoe on the way. Cinderella sobbed out her miseries to him. Why were they so bad to her? What had she done wrong?

The farmer smiled with sadness. He stood silent for a long long time before he spoke. Poor Cinderella, he said. You are different. You can think and feel and imagine, but you are not human. You are and will always be a buffalo. You cannot talk to people, people will not understand you. You must live as God intended all buffaloes shall live. You must go back to your new owner. I cannot help you. You can stay with me today, but tomorrow you must go.

Cinderella listened to his words with terrible anger and confusion. To the farmer, she wailed: Why did you speak to me, and tell me all those stories of the wonderful world, if I am just a buffalo? Why did you let me dream and think and imagine ? The farmer was silent. He knew he had no answer.

Meanwhile, Red Riding Hood, running away, had entered the forest with as much excitement as fear. She found the forest to be immense and grand and wild. There were strange things there, trees and birds and insects she had never seen before, waterfalls and caves. Lush grass grew under trees, the water was sweet, and there was no sign anywhere of the tiger. I knew it, she rejoiced, there is no tiger. It was all just a fairy tale to keep everyone away from this wonderful forest. She wandered through it, trying different paths, exploring new areas. Once or twice, she wandered close to the forest edge, and was tempted to return to the farmer's shed, but the thought of leaving this amazing forest was too hard. She wished her sisters could see her now, eating whatever she liked, sleeping wherever she liked, with no one to tell her otherwise. But if she went back to talk to them, she could never return to the forest. Here there was no one to talk to, but she soon missed no one.

Thus she wandered and explored for a long time. Many years went by, and one day, she lay down for a nap after a good meal. She slept for many hours. Waking up from deep sleep, she sensed a silence in the forest around her. And then, straight ahead, looking at her evilly, she saw an immense tiger, ready to spring. She stirred, and the tiger pounced. As it came down on her neck, she thought, I thought the tiger was a fairy tale, but it is real. It doesn't matter now. Though the ending is abrupt and violent, I cannot complain, it has been a good life. The forest, once a dream and now her reality, was fading away from consciousness. Life is a dream, she thought one last time, before it all slipped away.

One evening, the farmer went into the forest edge to collect firewood, and came across Red Riding Hood's cowbell, lying in the grass. So that's where she went, he smiled. He looked around for her remains, but found none. He came home, hung the cowbell from the roof, and stretched out on his bed. He thought of the three sisters. He said aloud, to himself: "One lived waiting to die, one died waiting to live. Only one lived until she died, and no one can ask for more than that."

The cowbell tinkled in the slight breeze. In the shed, he could hear his three brand new calves. I wonder what I shall name them, he thought. And he slept.


( This was for Women's Day - Apu)