Jump to it...
Funny profile. How much of that stuff was your own?
OK, snark's over.
Was reading your comment at Hungry writer's post. That was interesting. Now I'm reading your profile, and no less interesting is the thought of making a documentary called Porn v/s Rainforests - An Inconvenient Truth.
Aparna /milika
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Euphoria /Rohan Sundaram
Streaking through the neon blur,(continue reading..)
Drunk on lethal power,
I leave a trail for others to follow,
But all they can do is watch and admire.
Wherever you were driving, sounds nice. Although neon blur must imply the city. Could be a longer poem.
Aparna
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Mumbai Read Meet, Summer of May [27] 2007 Report / Rochelle Potkar
Jump to it..
Rochelle, that was so interesting, I forgot I was reading a report of an actual meeting, and not a piece of fiction writing here.
Aparna
Rochelle, that was so interesting, I forgot I was reading a report of an actual meeting, and not a piece of fiction writing here.
Aparna
Friday, May 25, 2007
Have you stroked the mane of a roaring lion (hungry writer)
Have you stoked the warm embers of passionate rebellion
Have you been drunk on the nectar of the soft dew of the imaginations
Have you cupped the flame of incandescent conversation
Or once sank into the bracket of an unspoiled affair.
read it on Caferati...
Cool!
Stroked the mane of a roaring lion ? No - I'm chicken.
Several iines of the 'questionnaire' were fine-sounding- the flames of an incandescent conversation, the shade of a goddess (would make a fine title), the back-alleys of a false prophet.
'Have you smelt the bitter art of the loom of invention' -
Looms have no smells or tastes, you could use a fabric metaphor there.
Aparna
Have you been drunk on the nectar of the soft dew of the imaginations
Have you cupped the flame of incandescent conversation
Or once sank into the bracket of an unspoiled affair.
read it on Caferati...
Cool!
Stroked the mane of a roaring lion ? No - I'm chicken.
Several iines of the 'questionnaire' were fine-sounding- the flames of an incandescent conversation, the shade of a goddess (would make a fine title), the back-alleys of a false prophet.
'Have you smelt the bitter art of the loom of invention' -
Looms have no smells or tastes, you could use a fabric metaphor there.
Aparna
Silent Revenge (Rehana Ali)
read it on caferati ..
It is a powerful story, about triumph over fear. What keeps these women from complaining is fear of losing even more than they already have - fear of economic loss, fear of public scrutiny, fear of further abuse, fear for their families.
To overcome this debilitating fear, they had to do something pretty drastic. Something so extreme, it would erase it from their minds forever. That comes out well in the mutilation scene. They were not killing these men, they were attacking their own fears.
You were right not to detail the consequences were of these actions - were they further targeted, were they left alone, did they get arrested? The story ends at the right place - where these women began to emerge from fear.
I feel, it's still more of news reportage format, not a piece of writing. For a writer's forum, you could add your understanding of who these women are, why this happened, and why this is bigger than revenge, etc.
Aparna
It is a powerful story, about triumph over fear. What keeps these women from complaining is fear of losing even more than they already have - fear of economic loss, fear of public scrutiny, fear of further abuse, fear for their families.
To overcome this debilitating fear, they had to do something pretty drastic. Something so extreme, it would erase it from their minds forever. That comes out well in the mutilation scene. They were not killing these men, they were attacking their own fears.
You were right not to detail the consequences were of these actions - were they further targeted, were they left alone, did they get arrested? The story ends at the right place - where these women began to emerge from fear.
I feel, it's still more of news reportage format, not a piece of writing. For a writer's forum, you could add your understanding of who these women are, why this happened, and why this is bigger than revenge, etc.
Aparna
Thursday, May 24, 2007
A Series of Poems (Manjul Bajaj)
Read the poems here
I like the last two. 'A tongue inseparable from its poetry'- and its poets - Urdu is a treat.
I don't know what shankh-pola is, so I missed the reference. 'In the mouth of' sounds a little clunky, too literal. Maybe rework that - just 'white as the teeth /of the smiling bridegroom' would be fine.
The sentiment varied a little, I felt. Urdu, you pick because it is the most poetic, but you'd rather be a little brown bird than a dazzling kingfisher(if you would be a bird) though both fly. Why the best in one, and the lesser in another? Did I miss something?
Aparna
I like the last two. 'A tongue inseparable from its poetry'- and its poets - Urdu is a treat.
I don't know what shankh-pola is, so I missed the reference. 'In the mouth of' sounds a little clunky, too literal. Maybe rework that - just 'white as the teeth /of the smiling bridegroom' would be fine.
The sentiment varied a little, I felt. Urdu, you pick because it is the most poetic, but you'd rather be a little brown bird than a dazzling kingfisher(if you would be a bird) though both fly. Why the best in one, and the lesser in another? Did I miss something?
Aparna
Monday, May 21, 2007
Prediction (Shubhra Chaturvedi)
Read the poem here
Sweet, Haiku-like feeling.
The last two lines, as I was thinking about, them- Prediction repeats, so maybe..
Shower it may, in season
But who can predict his arrival?
Aparna
Sweet, Haiku-like feeling.
The last two lines, as I was thinking about, them- Prediction repeats, so maybe..
Shower it may, in season
But who can predict his arrival?
Aparna
Friday, May 18, 2007
Baby Fat (Kavisha Pinto)
Read the essay here
I'm laughing. Internal Socket Error indeed. A very good read, it was building up nicely, the ankle was a sudden end
Aparna
I'm laughing. Internal Socket Error indeed. A very good read, it was building up nicely, the ankle was a sudden end
Aparna
Monday, May 14, 2007
The Kiss (Preeti Bose)
The Kiss (Preeti Bose)
Aparna - what on earth is 'sprinkle your dew drops?'
Hope its not a euphemism for sex, which is what came to mind and spoiled the effect a bit :)
------------
Aparna - No, no shocked sensibilities, actually :-) I meant the exact opposite - that phrase "sprinkle your dewdrops" is too coy, which is what ruined the effect. Such phrases are more at home in old-fashioned novels.
The rest of the poem read well, its contemporary in its feeling. You could keep the thought, but word it in a contemporary way.
Cheers
Aparna
Aparna - what on earth is 'sprinkle your dew drops?'
Hope its not a euphemism for sex, which is what came to mind and spoiled the effect a bit :)
------------
Aparna - No, no shocked sensibilities, actually :-) I meant the exact opposite - that phrase "sprinkle your dewdrops" is too coy, which is what ruined the effect. Such phrases are more at home in old-fashioned novels.
The rest of the poem read well, its contemporary in its feeling. You could keep the thought, but word it in a contemporary way.
Cheers
Aparna
Friday, May 11, 2007
On Uttar Pradesh (Vijay Nair)
On Uttar Pradesh (Vijay Nair)
I like the 'symbol'ogy.
Going good,
Aparna
(why did the lotus go into lowercase?)
-------------------
May 15
Guess No. 1 - Is this a concern about possible flaming of opinions and general disharmony?
What about religion then, or sex? I'm sure there are some who are thinking why should Adult content be allowed?
If I'm atheist, I could say "Please keep your religious preferences to yourself"?
If someone writes on feminism, men could say "I'm offended, please stop?"
Where is the line ?
Guess No. 2 - Is it simply a subject of no interest personally?
One can always avoid reading it.
Aparna
I like the 'symbol'ogy.
Going good,
Aparna
(why did the lotus go into lowercase?)
-------------------
May 15
Guess No. 1 - Is this a concern about possible flaming of opinions and general disharmony?
What about religion then, or sex? I'm sure there are some who are thinking why should Adult content be allowed?
If I'm atheist, I could say "Please keep your religious preferences to yourself"?
If someone writes on feminism, men could say "I'm offended, please stop?"
Where is the line ?
Guess No. 2 - Is it simply a subject of no interest personally?
One can always avoid reading it.
Aparna
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Mahishasura OOru (Ratna Rajaiah)
Mahishasura OOru (Ratna Rajaiah)
Ratna, I think you covered it all, pretty much, with a light entertaining touch. I come to Mysore now and then, msinly headed for the Zoo (soothing place), the Jaganmohan Palace. And Nani's dosa.
Never been to the Green's Hotel, it sounds interesting. Not much of a fan of five star places, they all seem bit bland, if comfy. The heritage hotels are worth a see though.
Where did R.K.Narayan live, in Mysore, by the way? You could do another one about him and the literary circle of that Mysore. Would be perfect for a writer's group.
Aparna
Ratna, I think you covered it all, pretty much, with a light entertaining touch. I come to Mysore now and then, msinly headed for the Zoo (soothing place), the Jaganmohan Palace. And Nani's dosa.
Never been to the Green's Hotel, it sounds interesting. Not much of a fan of five star places, they all seem bit bland, if comfy. The heritage hotels are worth a see though.
Where did R.K.Narayan live, in Mysore, by the way? You could do another one about him and the literary circle of that Mysore. Would be perfect for a writer's group.
Aparna
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Want How and Why (A story or something like that ) (Mukesh Malik)
Want How and Why (A story or something like that ) (Mukesh Malik)
You can leave a link instead of reposting the entire poem in comments, by the way.
Aparna
--------------
http://www.ryze.com/posttopic.php?topicid=842761&confid=1199#2568563
re link-
What I do is copy the URL of the post page from the browser address bar into the comment. Or you can copy it from the list on Topics page.
As I said on Sridala's post, I don't have any comments right now, but I will return when I do. I have changed my privacy preferences to allow messages, but I may change it back if it gets me a lot of spam.
As for criticism, there's an interesting debate going on at Pushpa Moorjani's post "Hello critics, Should I like you".
Cheers
Aparna
You can leave a link instead of reposting the entire poem in comments, by the way.
Aparna
--------------
http://www.ryze.com/posttopic.php?topicid=842761&confid=1199#2568563
re link-
What I do is copy the URL of the post page from the browser address bar into the comment. Or you can copy it from the list on Topics page.
As I said on Sridala's post, I don't have any comments right now, but I will return when I do. I have changed my privacy preferences to allow messages, but I may change it back if it gets me a lot of spam.
As for criticism, there's an interesting debate going on at Pushpa Moorjani's post "Hello critics, Should I like you".
Cheers
Aparna
Re-cycled Karma (Ravishankar C)
Re-cycled Karma (Ravishankar C)
Nice. Good title,too. Recycled Karma - I might borrow it -) (for a eco-product I'm designing )
çalligraphy', not caligraphy, I think?
Commas at end of lines - not necessary in verse.
Aparna
Nice. Good title,too. Recycled Karma - I might borrow it -) (for a eco-product I'm designing )
çalligraphy', not caligraphy, I think?
Commas at end of lines - not necessary in verse.
Aparna
Permission to quote (Sridala)
Permission to quote (Sridala)
----------
Interesting essay, Sridala. True of all forums I have been in (since my dinosaur Usenet era days).
In my experience though, feedback does not change the person's idea of self, but only modifies their behavior on that forum, as they begin to perceive what the rules of the game on the forum are, and begin to play accordingly.
More often than the critic realizes, feedback is silently discounted by the receiver (though outwardly there are the usual thank-yous) because the feedback giver is a comparative stranger.
Most people only pay attention to feedback from people that they know well, and this makes sense, because then feedback can be put into context. Feedback from someone whose writing skills we know to be good is worth more than feedback from someone we don't think much of. But with a stranger, there is no context.
In most forums the democratic approach makes it impossible to select who we receive feedback from, and conventions demand that we treat all feedback equally. Some will say feedback should be taken on its own weight, regardless of who is giving it, but this is one of those nice thoughts which ignores reality.
Aparna
Sridala, I agree about freedom changing a person even if feedback doesn't.
----------
Mukesh, I thought I had set my preferences to receive messages from anyone, if not, I need to change that.
Are writers really different? Yes, but I think everyone is different, so I assume no special status for writers in particular. No more different from non-writers than dancers from non-dancers, smokers from non-smokers, rotarians from non-rotarians.
I don't argue your preference to be open to response from anyone. If you are, more power to you. I'm speaking merely of my experience.
Re your posts, I have read them, but haven't had any comments to make, yet. I will definitely, when I do have something to say.
Aparna
----------
Interesting essay, Sridala. True of all forums I have been in (since my dinosaur Usenet era days).
In my experience though, feedback does not change the person's idea of self, but only modifies their behavior on that forum, as they begin to perceive what the rules of the game on the forum are, and begin to play accordingly.
More often than the critic realizes, feedback is silently discounted by the receiver (though outwardly there are the usual thank-yous) because the feedback giver is a comparative stranger.
Most people only pay attention to feedback from people that they know well, and this makes sense, because then feedback can be put into context. Feedback from someone whose writing skills we know to be good is worth more than feedback from someone we don't think much of. But with a stranger, there is no context.
In most forums the democratic approach makes it impossible to select who we receive feedback from, and conventions demand that we treat all feedback equally. Some will say feedback should be taken on its own weight, regardless of who is giving it, but this is one of those nice thoughts which ignores reality.
Aparna
Sridala, I agree about freedom changing a person even if feedback doesn't.
----------
Mukesh, I thought I had set my preferences to receive messages from anyone, if not, I need to change that.
Are writers really different? Yes, but I think everyone is different, so I assume no special status for writers in particular. No more different from non-writers than dancers from non-dancers, smokers from non-smokers, rotarians from non-rotarians.
I don't argue your preference to be open to response from anyone. If you are, more power to you. I'm speaking merely of my experience.
Re your posts, I have read them, but haven't had any comments to make, yet. I will definitely, when I do have something to say.
Aparna
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
Hello critics, should I like you? (Anita Butani)
Hello critics, should I like you? (Anita Butani)
(This was not a piece of writing in the usual sense, but a discussion about criticism)
--------------
Regarding readership that posts get, I think it is the same as books. There's the habit of reading only the genres, topics and styles that we like. In this case, skipping posts isn't about quality. A professional critic would be required to read a lot, but even they aren't asked to read every kind of book; they do specialize in certain kinds of writing.
Sometimes I read but don't comment because the poor quality is not grammar or spelling or clichés, those are simple to point out. Sometimes its more complex - something felt, but hard to explain. Blame my lack of vocabulary for becoming speechless at that point.
If its merely a personal preference, I keep that to myself. I have my dislikes - the maudlin, the cutesy, the grandiose, people who don't revise their work. But its a preference, not criticism.
Criticism from others is a good thing, but one also has to learn to see one's own work critically. Looking in the mirror is essential before we go out of the house and let others see us - catch the toilet paper stuck to heels, mascara on the nose, unzipped fly, etc instead of leaving it to others to point out.
Aparna (milika)
(This was not a piece of writing in the usual sense, but a discussion about criticism)
--------------
Regarding readership that posts get, I think it is the same as books. There's the habit of reading only the genres, topics and styles that we like. In this case, skipping posts isn't about quality. A professional critic would be required to read a lot, but even they aren't asked to read every kind of book; they do specialize in certain kinds of writing.
Sometimes I read but don't comment because the poor quality is not grammar or spelling or clichés, those are simple to point out. Sometimes its more complex - something felt, but hard to explain. Blame my lack of vocabulary for becoming speechless at that point.
If its merely a personal preference, I keep that to myself. I have my dislikes - the maudlin, the cutesy, the grandiose, people who don't revise their work. But its a preference, not criticism.
Criticism from others is a good thing, but one also has to learn to see one's own work critically. Looking in the mirror is essential before we go out of the house and let others see us - catch the toilet paper stuck to heels, mascara on the nose, unzipped fly, etc instead of leaving it to others to point out.
Aparna (milika)
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Come to me (Ravishankar)
Come to me (Ravishankar)
I read the first version, I liked it better. It was more ...well, punchy, assertive. It was long, but it didn't lose steam anywhere. You're probably thinking - this goes to prove you can't please everyone :-). I wouldn't understand what you're saying as well as I do now, had I not read the first version.
Aparna
I read the first version, I liked it better. It was more ...well, punchy, assertive. It was long, but it didn't lose steam anywhere. You're probably thinking - this goes to prove you can't please everyone :-). I wouldn't understand what you're saying as well as I do now, had I not read the first version.
Aparna
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Time Wounds All Heels
Caferati link
You left me, not vice versa,
Unrepentant Godbole
Walked straight out of the cafe
Stuck as I was, in a traffic jam
of waiters
And swelling emotions
I failed to register a timely repartee
To the quip:"Cash or Card?"
'Madame' has forgotten her purse
What's worse
You had the Creme Bruleé
On my birthday
And the better view
And an 'urgent' appointment, too.
Allow me to pay
This time- No, no, I insist!
You'll get what you deal
I have it on good word that
Time wounds all heels
:-)
You left me, not vice versa,
Unrepentant Godbole
Walked straight out of the cafe
Stuck as I was, in a traffic jam
of waiters
And swelling emotions
I failed to register a timely repartee
To the quip:"Cash or Card?"
'Madame' has forgotten her purse
What's worse
You had the Creme Bruleé
On my birthday
And the better view
And an 'urgent' appointment, too.
Allow me to pay
This time- No, no, I insist!
You'll get what you deal
I have it on good word that
Time wounds all heels
:-)
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