I found a rose among thorns, but did not touch;
As I imagined the softness of its flesh
the hormonal buzz
of a honey bee
excited me
to thrust my hand into the spiked clutch;
I checked the desire
but, did drink in the view and it's aroma instead;
enjoying it's painful beauty with the fingers in my head..
Gorgeous, no?
The fingers are in my head, too.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
When God Smiles (ICONX)
| When God smiles the edges of a plasma cloud contract. The pulse of a fetal sun will have begun as the heavy elements and star dust interact; embracing and pulling tight, condensing down fusions spark, illuminates into the corners of the icy dark, spreading his passion, his joy, his warmth, his light. iconx |
I found a rose (ICONX)
I found a rose among thorns, but did not touch;(cont reading on Caferati)
As I imagined the softness of its flesh
the hormonal buzz
of a honey bee
The sentence "excited me to" sounds not quite right grammatically. Another word, perhaps, 'invited', 'incited', 'roused'?
"Fingers in my head" was arresting; the last but one line "did drink in the view and aroma instead" doesn't add anything.
Cheers
Aparna
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Crush by Annie Zaidi (A review)
Crush (A Review)continue...
Book title: Crush. 50 poems by annie zaidi, illustrated by gynelle alves. JAICO Books. Price: Rs. 150
Every now and again you meet a book which you fall in love with at first sight. It happened to me just yesterday with a diminutive little volume of poems called Crush. Books should not be judged by their covers but when the volume claims to be an illustrated one then perhaps you can be forgiven the transgression. The 4 inch by 4 inch slim, square volume with its awry red heart motif against a bold marigold coloured background, does seem to beckon you to own it and love it.
First question: Where I can find this book? Is it out in bookshops or is that a reviewer's copy you have?
Your reading experience sounds uniformly good. But that rarely ever happens to me. Was there any place where you felt could have been even better? What other work would you say it is similar or closest to, (so I can bracket it mentally)?
Aparna
(This is by far the stupidest thing I've ever written on this forum)
What my eyes have seen ( Poem ) (ICONX)
what my eyes have seen is caught on tape
cut and paste
a million different way
at nuerons' end; perhaps to be reviewed.
Seeing photons in the dark - a vivid image, though I can't imagine what an individual photon would look like, half wave, half particle?
I heart the use of scientific words here. Always thought there was some poetry in them. Phasar, Quark, Photon.
More please
Aparna
cut and paste
a million different way
at nuerons' end; perhaps to be reviewed.
(cont reading on Caferati)
Seeing photons in the dark - a vivid image, though I can't imagine what an individual photon would look like, half wave, half particle?
I heart the use of scientific words here. Always thought there was some poetry in them. Phasar, Quark, Photon.
More please
Aparna
Found - First Grey Hair (poem - feedback requested (Sandhya Menon-Koottunkal)
Read it on Caferati
I kept thinking of the slang moonshine stands for - homemade liquor. I guess you meant moonbeam/moonlight. It gave me quite a different meaning :-)
"Ruffled layer of the night" -excellent. Goes with the moon analogy.
"Better. And the looks to go with it" somehow sounds awkward.
onward
Aparna
I kept thinking of the slang moonshine stands for - homemade liquor. I guess you meant moonbeam/moonlight. It gave me quite a different meaning :-)
"Ruffled layer of the night" -excellent. Goes with the moon analogy.
"Better. And the looks to go with it" somehow sounds awkward.
onward
Aparna
Good Intentions (poem read out at Bombay Read Meet, Feb 2007) (Billi)
Read it on Caferati
There's this self-pity in the "lonely slice of pizza", the "pain is filling up the cracks". But she makes her excuses "I have been playing host", "I'm doing fine", "elevator is full" and shuts the door on the visitor, rejects his unwanted sympathy.
The last but one paragraph doesn't belong here. It's a monologue in her head, of the paranoia of being deliberately avoided by others, that she would not be addressing out loud to the visitor whose sympathy she does not want. The rest of it is of one piece, telling the visitor he's not needed.
Nicely done. Was not at the Read-Meet, can you post that version here as well?
There's this self-pity in the "lonely slice of pizza", the "pain is filling up the cracks". But she makes her excuses "I have been playing host", "I'm doing fine", "elevator is full" and shuts the door on the visitor, rejects his unwanted sympathy.
The last but one paragraph doesn't belong here. It's a monologue in her head, of the paranoia of being deliberately avoided by others, that she would not be addressing out loud to the visitor whose sympathy she does not want. The rest of it is of one piece, telling the visitor he's not needed.
Nicely done. Was not at the Read-Meet, can you post that version here as well?
Crush by Annie Zaidi (a review)
Read it on Caferati
First question: Where I can find this book? Is it out in bookshops or is that a reviewer's copy you have?
Your reading experience sounds uniformly good. But that rarely ever happens to me. Was there any place where you felt could have been even better? What other work would you say it is similar or closest to, (so I can bracket it mentally)?
Aparna
First question: Where I can find this book? Is it out in bookshops or is that a reviewer's copy you have?
Your reading experience sounds uniformly good. But that rarely ever happens to me. Was there any place where you felt could have been even better? What other work would you say it is similar or closest to, (so I can bracket it mentally)?
Aparna
Monday, February 26, 2007
Valentine (Ityaadi)
Read it on Caferati
That is a complex feeling you have tried to put down - Shame, hurt, rejection, helplessness. I liked it. The crucifixion image goes farther than any other I think of, in describing the violence of her act, as it appears to the valentine giver. Have to agree with Annie, the 3rd, 4th line reduce the punch a bit.
Aparna
That is a complex feeling you have tried to put down - Shame, hurt, rejection, helplessness. I liked it. The crucifixion image goes farther than any other I think of, in describing the violence of her act, as it appears to the valentine giver. Have to agree with Annie, the 3rd, 4th line reduce the punch a bit.
Aparna
Purdah: Poem (Manjul Bajaj)
Read it on Caferati
Its not too long. Really good flow, there were no continuity breaks or loss of focus. Conforming to tradition, the ghosts of tradition, interesting ideas as well.
Liked the phrase "the dour doyenas".
"Letting only the chaff seep" - Liquids seep, chaff is solid. What do you think?
Aparna
-----------------
Mar 1 : 9:56am
Slip, fall or escape, all would work.
Aparna
Its not too long. Really good flow, there were no continuity breaks or loss of focus. Conforming to tradition, the ghosts of tradition, interesting ideas as well.
Liked the phrase "the dour doyenas".
"Letting only the chaff seep" - Liquids seep, chaff is solid. What do you think?
Aparna
-----------------
Mar 1 : 9:56am
Slip, fall or escape, all would work.
Aparna
Secretary or General ?
Shashi Tharoor, one of my favorite authors, and Under-Secretary-Genl, is up for the post of UN Secretary-General. Pending completion of Kofi Annan's second and final term, he will be the official Indian nominee.
Given the ineffectiveness of the U.N. in its founding mission of peace-keeping, I wonder if this is an honor or not. Even the name of the post is ambiguous about the powers it carries. Will someone please tell us what's a Secretary-General? Is he a secretary? Is he a general? Is he a secretary to a General, or just a secretary in general? If he had a secretary of his own (and I assume someone heading a large organization comprised of many member nations could afford it), what would he or she be called? I can see a lot of letters to the Secy-Genl are going to be re-routed to the secretarial pool at the UN. Incidentally, this absolves the Secy-Genl for any shortcomings of the UN. The man has to get complaint letters before he can fix 'em!
An article by Tharoor, the author of the Great Indian Novel, describes the post as a 'secular Pope'. Other interesting requirements of the job - the Secy-Genl has to be 'politically celibate without being politically virgin', and work with the aspirations of the Big Five while being above them. So in addition to being a secretary, the post also calls for 'celibate but not virgin'. I think I've seen that same job description at the local temping agency.
Now its a big bug for me that Tharoor is not viewed as a serious contender to the Thailand Deputy PM Suriakiart Sathirathaith, Sri Lankan diplomat Jayanatha Dhanapala, and South Korean Foreign Minister Ban Ki-moon.
Personally, I think Tharoor has an excellent chance of winning, even with all these contenders. Let me explain. If it is secretarial job, as I strongly suspect it might be, Tharoor as a writer will surely surpass others at typing. The others won't even know where the carbon paper goes in, I'll put my money on that.
The only serious threat is Pakistan's nominee Mrs Maleeha Lodhi, High Commissioner to UK. She has the additional attraction of being female, which, it has just occurred to me, secretaries almost always are. Drat!
(written when Shashi's nomination had just appeared in the press)
Given the ineffectiveness of the U.N. in its founding mission of peace-keeping, I wonder if this is an honor or not. Even the name of the post is ambiguous about the powers it carries. Will someone please tell us what's a Secretary-General? Is he a secretary? Is he a general? Is he a secretary to a General, or just a secretary in general? If he had a secretary of his own (and I assume someone heading a large organization comprised of many member nations could afford it), what would he or she be called? I can see a lot of letters to the Secy-Genl are going to be re-routed to the secretarial pool at the UN. Incidentally, this absolves the Secy-Genl for any shortcomings of the UN. The man has to get complaint letters before he can fix 'em!
An article by Tharoor, the author of the Great Indian Novel, describes the post as a 'secular Pope'. Other interesting requirements of the job - the Secy-Genl has to be 'politically celibate without being politically virgin', and work with the aspirations of the Big Five while being above them. So in addition to being a secretary, the post also calls for 'celibate but not virgin'. I think I've seen that same job description at the local temping agency.
Now its a big bug for me that Tharoor is not viewed as a serious contender to the Thailand Deputy PM Suriakiart Sathirathaith, Sri Lankan diplomat Jayanatha Dhanapala, and South Korean Foreign Minister Ban Ki-moon.
Personally, I think Tharoor has an excellent chance of winning, even with all these contenders. Let me explain. If it is secretarial job, as I strongly suspect it might be, Tharoor as a writer will surely surpass others at typing. The others won't even know where the carbon paper goes in, I'll put my money on that.
The only serious threat is Pakistan's nominee Mrs Maleeha Lodhi, High Commissioner to UK. She has the additional attraction of being female, which, it has just occurred to me, secretaries almost always are. Drat!
(written when Shashi's nomination had just appeared in the press)
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Hole in my pocket
Caferati link and comments
There is a hole
in the pocket
of my life, through which
the occasional small change of happiness
slips away
Rolling in dusty corners
Hiding where they lie
They remember
where I've been before
Just where I wss yesterday
But I cannot retrace
my steps
I've moved on
And I've been left behind.
My hands in empty pockets
There is a hole
in the pocket
of my life, through which
the occasional small change of happiness
slips away
Rolling in dusty corners
Hiding where they lie
They remember
where I've been before
Just where I wss yesterday
But I cannot retrace
my steps
I've moved on
And I've been left behind.
My hands in empty pockets
Fall as Spring approaches (Ravishankar C)
Read it on Caferati
"I shed in a wrong season, the wrong things for the wrong reason"- The rhythm of words is amazing. I'll remember this line for quite a while. Although grammatically it probably should be 'the wrong season', not 'a wrong season', but it reads well the way you write it.
I felt the second para loses the tautness of the rest of it. Is it necessary to describe spring to underscore fall's effect? The first para makes it clear its about the seasons. Also, phrases like 'Flowers in fancy clothes' and 'hummingbee parties', 'golden cloaks' sound more nursery rhyme stuff. It doesn't go with the mature introspective first 3 lines.
Be back for your response
Aparna
"I shed in a wrong season, the wrong things for the wrong reason"- The rhythm of words is amazing. I'll remember this line for quite a while. Although grammatically it probably should be 'the wrong season', not 'a wrong season', but it reads well the way you write it.
I felt the second para loses the tautness of the rest of it. Is it necessary to describe spring to underscore fall's effect? The first para makes it clear its about the seasons. Also, phrases like 'Flowers in fancy clothes' and 'hummingbee parties', 'golden cloaks' sound more nursery rhyme stuff. It doesn't go with the mature introspective first 3 lines.
Be back for your response
Aparna
Stuck in time (Fatema HK)
Caferati link (To do)
Hi Fatema
Everything seemed to flow, except the phrase "milk of God's siesta". Milk of siesta? I don't know, the imagery didn't make sense.
Cheers, Aparna
Hi Fatema
Everything seemed to flow, except the phrase "milk of God's siesta". Milk of siesta? I don't know, the imagery didn't make sense.
Cheers, Aparna
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Is it still called pre-marital sex, if you plan to never marry?
Caferati link..
Uma's youngest brother-in-law has a theory: Women over a certain age, if still single, will become bitter and frustrated. All women need to be married to be happy. Now, never mind that he's single, and plans to remain so forever. Or at least until he dies.
So now woman has been given an expiry date. Like fruit, we will Ripen and Sweeten, Soften and then eventually go Sour. Is there a Rotting phase?
He has various predictions of what will happen to Single Women once they grow older. I will list them in order. The first and most commonly mentioned is Seriously Lonely. This, again, does not apply to himself. I do not know how he plans to avoid this. Or maybe it is just a semantics thing. Men are Seriously Alone, and women are Seriously Lonely.
Next is Desperate. Like Uma's niece, a young woman of 20 says, "I don't want to marry right now, but someday I will. I don't want to become like those Desperate aunties in their forties who haunt gyms ogling young guys". This one stumps me. I ask you, if a woman has remained single by choice through her lustful teens, twenties and thirties, is she likely to start 'ogling' in her forties decline?
Uma's other niece, the older married one ponders the question, "What do single women do for sex?" So many funny answers come to mind, I think this could be a popular board game. It was hard enough to keep a straight face saying "The same as married women".
The last stage mentioned by the brother-in-law is Bitter and Frustrated. So what exactly is involved in the B & F phase? I can't figure out. Write nasty letters to newspaper editors?
I don't know when exactly, but also somewhere on a single girl's agenda is the Plotting of The Downfall of the Married Friends, by Seducing The Husband, and/or Corrupting The Wife With Her Single Decadent Ways. This was proposed by Uma's mother-in-law, and accepted after being seconded by her single son.
So all this predicted activity is bound to keep a single girl busy, eh? That's a consolation. At least there may not be a Seriously Bored phase.
Uma's youngest brother-in-law has a theory: Women over a certain age, if still single, will become bitter and frustrated. All women need to be married to be happy. Now, never mind that he's single, and plans to remain so forever. Or at least until he dies.
So now woman has been given an expiry date. Like fruit, we will Ripen and Sweeten, Soften and then eventually go Sour. Is there a Rotting phase?
He has various predictions of what will happen to Single Women once they grow older. I will list them in order. The first and most commonly mentioned is Seriously Lonely. This, again, does not apply to himself. I do not know how he plans to avoid this. Or maybe it is just a semantics thing. Men are Seriously Alone, and women are Seriously Lonely.
Next is Desperate. Like Uma's niece, a young woman of 20 says, "I don't want to marry right now, but someday I will. I don't want to become like those Desperate aunties in their forties who haunt gyms ogling young guys". This one stumps me. I ask you, if a woman has remained single by choice through her lustful teens, twenties and thirties, is she likely to start 'ogling' in her forties decline?
Uma's other niece, the older married one ponders the question, "What do single women do for sex?" So many funny answers come to mind, I think this could be a popular board game. It was hard enough to keep a straight face saying "The same as married women".
The last stage mentioned by the brother-in-law is Bitter and Frustrated. So what exactly is involved in the B & F phase? I can't figure out. Write nasty letters to newspaper editors?
I don't know when exactly, but also somewhere on a single girl's agenda is the Plotting of The Downfall of the Married Friends, by Seducing The Husband, and/or Corrupting The Wife With Her Single Decadent Ways. This was proposed by Uma's mother-in-law, and accepted after being seconded by her single son.
So all this predicted activity is bound to keep a single girl busy, eh? That's a consolation. At least there may not be a Seriously Bored phase.
Experiment (Peter griffin)
Peter's post on Caferati
"Despite the moderation, people have continued to post irrelevant replies"
I didn't get that. Either there is moderation, so that only relevant stuff gets posted, or there is no moderation and people post whatever they want. What did I miss?
"Despite the moderation, people have continued to post irrelevant replies"
I didn't get that. Either there is moderation, so that only relevant stuff gets posted, or there is no moderation and people post whatever they want. What did I miss?
Friday, February 23, 2007
More on what a girl wants
Caferati link..
Honestly.
The most consistent line I blurt before backing away is "We just don't have anything in common". And it was true.
"I can't see why he would be interested. He doesn't know anything about me" I complain to friends. ("You're female" is the wrong answer, even if correct).
I've seen other women talk about what they want. Seems like women want all kinds of things from men.
The guy merely checks to see if you are breathing.
Here's a typical conversation...
Guy: Wanna go to the movie with me?
Gal: I cant see you in that way.
Guy: Why not?
Gal: the guy should know what I want
Guy: So what do you want?
Gal: I want the guy to know.
Guy: Know what?
Gal: What I want.
Guy: What do you want?
Gal: I told you already.
Guy: You said you want me to know what you want.
Gal: That's right.
Guy: So now I'm asking you, what do you want?
Gal: That's what I want you to know. I want you to WANT to know what I want.
Guy: Yes, I WANT to know.
Gal: Good.
Guy: So what DO you want, really?
Gal: If you REALLY wanted to know, you would know already. That's what I wanted, I wanted you to know. That's why we can't go out.
Guy: Do you have a sister? I don't mind if she's retarded. In fact, I think I'd prefer it.
And that's why I cant see you in that way. I knew you'd end up going with my sister and becoming a brother (in-law).
Honestly.
The most consistent line I blurt before backing away is "We just don't have anything in common". And it was true.
"I can't see why he would be interested. He doesn't know anything about me" I complain to friends. ("You're female" is the wrong answer, even if correct).
I've seen other women talk about what they want. Seems like women want all kinds of things from men.
The guy merely checks to see if you are breathing.
Here's a typical conversation...
Guy: Wanna go to the movie with me?
Gal: I cant see you in that way.
Guy: Why not?
Gal: the guy should know what I want
Guy: So what do you want?
Gal: I want the guy to know.
Guy: Know what?
Gal: What I want.
Guy: What do you want?
Gal: I told you already.
Guy: You said you want me to know what you want.
Gal: That's right.
Guy: So now I'm asking you, what do you want?
Gal: That's what I want you to know. I want you to WANT to know what I want.
Guy: Yes, I WANT to know.
Gal: Good.
Guy: So what DO you want, really?
Gal: If you REALLY wanted to know, you would know already. That's what I wanted, I wanted you to know. That's why we can't go out.
Guy: Do you have a sister? I don't mind if she's retarded. In fact, I think I'd prefer it.
And that's why I cant see you in that way. I knew you'd end up going with my sister and becoming a brother (in-law).
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Solomon Grundy - The New Twist
Back when we were children, we never realized there was more to this character called Solomon Grundy in that poem (Solomon Grundy, Born on Monday, Christened on Tuesday, etc etc), than met the eye. I present the true story here, of which we've heard only the vaguest details before..
SOLOMON GRUNDY - THE ADULT VERSION
It may be true what they say of Grundy
That Solomon was born on Sunday
But the Y2K glitch
Hit the computer which
Recorded his birthday as Monday
For Tuesday his christening was set
But on Monday the father won a bet
The horse that won
Was called Solomon
And so is his only son, to date
Why Wednesday he wed the rich widow
He explained to the press in front row
"Twasn't for bounty
Of which I have plenty.
But a little more never hurts, you know"
On Thursday, he said he was feeling fine
With his new wife as he sat down to dine
Its amazing how ill
You can get, with a pill
Of something they call strychnine
The doctors found him worse on Friday
To live, gave him no more than a day
"Better make up your will
And pay us (here's your bill)
There's nothing one can do but pray"
On Saturday his poor heart did cease
Said his widow to the local police
"He poisoned my drink
But before he could blink
I switched 'em, may he rest in peace"
On Sunday, they laid him six below
His tombstone to read as does follow
"A week's a lot of time
To plan a nasty crime
But next time, I'll shun the rich widow"
(Apologies to any children who might be reading here for shattering your innocence )
SOLOMON GRUNDY - THE ADULT VERSION
It may be true what they say of Grundy
That Solomon was born on Sunday
But the Y2K glitch
Hit the computer which
Recorded his birthday as Monday
For Tuesday his christening was set
But on Monday the father won a bet
The horse that won
Was called Solomon
And so is his only son, to date
Why Wednesday he wed the rich widow
He explained to the press in front row
"Twasn't for bounty
Of which I have plenty.
But a little more never hurts, you know"
On Thursday, he said he was feeling fine
With his new wife as he sat down to dine
Its amazing how ill
You can get, with a pill
Of something they call strychnine
The doctors found him worse on Friday
To live, gave him no more than a day
"Better make up your will
And pay us (here's your bill)
There's nothing one can do but pray"
On Saturday his poor heart did cease
Said his widow to the local police
"He poisoned my drink
But before he could blink
I switched 'em, may he rest in peace"
On Sunday, they laid him six below
His tombstone to read as does follow
"A week's a lot of time
To plan a nasty crime
But next time, I'll shun the rich widow"
(Apologies to any children who might be reading here for shattering your innocence )
Cigarettes and Dawn [Poem read out at Bombay Feb 2007 Readmeet] (Rohinton Daruwala)
Read it here
"pink-gray morning of half-filled tea glasses" - that was really a quick one-line sketch, great.
Aparna
"pink-gray morning of half-filled tea glasses" - that was really a quick one-line sketch, great.
Aparna
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