Jump to it...
Funny profile. How much of that stuff was your own?
OK, snark's over.
Was reading your comment at Hungry writer's post. That was interesting. Now I'm reading your profile, and no less interesting is the thought of making a documentary called Porn v/s Rainforests - An Inconvenient Truth.
Aparna /milika
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Euphoria /Rohan Sundaram
Streaking through the neon blur,(continue reading..)
Drunk on lethal power,
I leave a trail for others to follow,
But all they can do is watch and admire.
Wherever you were driving, sounds nice. Although neon blur must imply the city. Could be a longer poem.
Aparna
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Mumbai Read Meet, Summer of May [27] 2007 Report / Rochelle Potkar
Jump to it..
Rochelle, that was so interesting, I forgot I was reading a report of an actual meeting, and not a piece of fiction writing here.
Aparna
Rochelle, that was so interesting, I forgot I was reading a report of an actual meeting, and not a piece of fiction writing here.
Aparna
Friday, May 25, 2007
Have you stroked the mane of a roaring lion (hungry writer)
Have you stoked the warm embers of passionate rebellion
Have you been drunk on the nectar of the soft dew of the imaginations
Have you cupped the flame of incandescent conversation
Or once sank into the bracket of an unspoiled affair.
read it on Caferati...
Cool!
Stroked the mane of a roaring lion ? No - I'm chicken.
Several iines of the 'questionnaire' were fine-sounding- the flames of an incandescent conversation, the shade of a goddess (would make a fine title), the back-alleys of a false prophet.
'Have you smelt the bitter art of the loom of invention' -
Looms have no smells or tastes, you could use a fabric metaphor there.
Aparna
Have you been drunk on the nectar of the soft dew of the imaginations
Have you cupped the flame of incandescent conversation
Or once sank into the bracket of an unspoiled affair.
read it on Caferati...
Cool!
Stroked the mane of a roaring lion ? No - I'm chicken.
Several iines of the 'questionnaire' were fine-sounding- the flames of an incandescent conversation, the shade of a goddess (would make a fine title), the back-alleys of a false prophet.
'Have you smelt the bitter art of the loom of invention' -
Looms have no smells or tastes, you could use a fabric metaphor there.
Aparna
Silent Revenge (Rehana Ali)
read it on caferati ..
It is a powerful story, about triumph over fear. What keeps these women from complaining is fear of losing even more than they already have - fear of economic loss, fear of public scrutiny, fear of further abuse, fear for their families.
To overcome this debilitating fear, they had to do something pretty drastic. Something so extreme, it would erase it from their minds forever. That comes out well in the mutilation scene. They were not killing these men, they were attacking their own fears.
You were right not to detail the consequences were of these actions - were they further targeted, were they left alone, did they get arrested? The story ends at the right place - where these women began to emerge from fear.
I feel, it's still more of news reportage format, not a piece of writing. For a writer's forum, you could add your understanding of who these women are, why this happened, and why this is bigger than revenge, etc.
Aparna
It is a powerful story, about triumph over fear. What keeps these women from complaining is fear of losing even more than they already have - fear of economic loss, fear of public scrutiny, fear of further abuse, fear for their families.
To overcome this debilitating fear, they had to do something pretty drastic. Something so extreme, it would erase it from their minds forever. That comes out well in the mutilation scene. They were not killing these men, they were attacking their own fears.
You were right not to detail the consequences were of these actions - were they further targeted, were they left alone, did they get arrested? The story ends at the right place - where these women began to emerge from fear.
I feel, it's still more of news reportage format, not a piece of writing. For a writer's forum, you could add your understanding of who these women are, why this happened, and why this is bigger than revenge, etc.
Aparna
Thursday, May 24, 2007
A Series of Poems (Manjul Bajaj)
Read the poems here
I like the last two. 'A tongue inseparable from its poetry'- and its poets - Urdu is a treat.
I don't know what shankh-pola is, so I missed the reference. 'In the mouth of' sounds a little clunky, too literal. Maybe rework that - just 'white as the teeth /of the smiling bridegroom' would be fine.
The sentiment varied a little, I felt. Urdu, you pick because it is the most poetic, but you'd rather be a little brown bird than a dazzling kingfisher(if you would be a bird) though both fly. Why the best in one, and the lesser in another? Did I miss something?
Aparna
I like the last two. 'A tongue inseparable from its poetry'- and its poets - Urdu is a treat.
I don't know what shankh-pola is, so I missed the reference. 'In the mouth of' sounds a little clunky, too literal. Maybe rework that - just 'white as the teeth /of the smiling bridegroom' would be fine.
The sentiment varied a little, I felt. Urdu, you pick because it is the most poetic, but you'd rather be a little brown bird than a dazzling kingfisher(if you would be a bird) though both fly. Why the best in one, and the lesser in another? Did I miss something?
Aparna
Monday, May 21, 2007
Prediction (Shubhra Chaturvedi)
Read the poem here
Sweet, Haiku-like feeling.
The last two lines, as I was thinking about, them- Prediction repeats, so maybe..
Shower it may, in season
But who can predict his arrival?
Aparna
Sweet, Haiku-like feeling.
The last two lines, as I was thinking about, them- Prediction repeats, so maybe..
Shower it may, in season
But who can predict his arrival?
Aparna
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