Bad Writing (Writing Exercise)

Praise the all-cognizant celestial divinity that I am not a defective correspondent. I apperceive that I am not abhorrent in my contributions, considering the actuality that my spelling is predominantly gratifying, my cognition of the principles of linguistic structure is substantial, and my excessive adoption of multi-syllabic idiom is congenital.

I formulate entire communications, merely to emblazon my acquaintance with an acclaimed scribe of current vogue whose actual works I am entirely free of comprehension (as I extolled in my essay on Kundera's alleged remarks on the lastability of prejudiced identities).

I often give impulse to fatuous verse..(can you attend the thunderous applause I hear in my cerebellum as I commit this)

Ode to Thee, my Reader, in Thy solitude
A plea! - Why Thou art not mine
Thine loneliness art thy escape
As thou gracefully spurn thy love
to those who still 'thee, thine, thou'

Thus I stand perfectly equipped by power of education and an eminently accessible thesaurus to effectuate upon the universe my meritorious and laudable efforts, bar the fact that I possess no cogitations to express. I however do not restrain myself on such barren occasions, as being mostly anthropomorphic, I am not wholly against self-titillation.

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