Is it still called pre-marital sex, if you plan to never marry?

Caferati link..

Uma's youngest brother-in-law has a theory: Women over a certain age, if still single, will become bitter and frustrated. All women need to be married to be happy. Now, never mind that he's single, and plans to remain so forever. Or at least until he dies.

So now woman has been given an expiry date. Like fruit, we will Ripen and Sweeten, Soften and then eventually go Sour. Is there a Rotting phase?

He has various predictions of what will happen to Single Women once they grow older. I will list them in order. The first and most commonly mentioned is Seriously Lonely. This, again, does not apply to himself. I do not know how he plans to avoid this. Or maybe it is just a semantics thing. Men are Seriously Alone, and women are Seriously Lonely.

Next is Desperate. Like Uma's niece, a young woman of 20 says, "I don't want to marry right now, but someday I will. I don't want to become like those Desperate aunties in their forties who haunt gyms ogling young guys". This one stumps me. I ask you, if a woman has remained single by choice through her lustful teens, twenties and thirties, is she likely to start 'ogling' in her forties decline?

Uma's other niece, the older married one ponders the question, "What do single women do for sex?" So many funny answers come to mind, I think this could be a popular board game. It was hard enough to keep a straight face saying "The same as married women".

The last stage mentioned by the brother-in-law is Bitter and Frustrated. So what exactly is involved in the B & F phase? I can't figure out. Write nasty letters to newspaper editors?

I don't know when exactly, but also somewhere on a single girl's agenda is the Plotting of The Downfall of the Married Friends, by Seducing The Husband, and/or Corrupting The Wife With Her Single Decadent Ways. This was proposed by Uma's mother-in-law, and accepted after being seconded by her single son.

So all this predicted activity is bound to keep a single girl busy, eh? That's a consolation. At least there may not be a Seriously Bored phase.