Between this breath (Ratna Rajaiah)

Between this breath
And the next
Crouches
A possibility
Death

continue...

Really really good.
I like how the first 5 lines form a poem, a brilliant one, by itself.

In fact, maybe it should end there, because it is so good, it is hard to top it.
However, moving past that...
Using your metaphor, the crouch is the suspense, the leap is action, more dramatic. So I'd expect the last few lines to likewise rise to greater dramatic heights, describing death and its devastating effects, rather than continue with the suspense about when it'll happen. That was a bit anticlimactic.

I hope this makes sense. I've been thinking about it ever since the poem was posted.

Aparna